Along the Dirt Path

Winter Sunrise...

2012-02-09T11:23:00.004-05:00

The snow overnight greeted me this morning. White and fresh, beckoning me outside and down to a nearby park, my pup in tow. It has been a long time coming, this snow with me outside enjoying it, noticing it. I have been distracted lately. Spending time at book clubs, woman's spirituality groups, my son's educational center, doggie playgroups, and my UU church. Being more in community with people than nature. While I have loved this opportunity to be with people and form a sense of belonging for myself, I have missed the natural world.

The world of nature with the sun rising up from the horizon, bringing forth light to an otherwise gray day. Reminding me, calling to me to rejoin what I have have stepped away from for the last month. Calling me back to my passion...

John Heinz National Wildlife Refuge

2012-01-07T20:44:00.002-05:00

As the largest remaining freshwater tidal marsh in Pennsylvania, the John Heinz National Wildlife Refuge forms a buffer between dry land and open ocean, influenced by tides but containing very little salt. The refuges almost 1,000 acres is a vital feeding and resting place for birds migrating along the Atlantic Flyway and also provides habitats for lots of varied wildlife.

With a view of the city of Philadelphia from the marsh and the sounds of traffic on I-95 well within earshot, it can be difficult to feel one has gotten away from the rush of the city and enveloped in the hush of nature. But despite the fact that I found myself distracted by the sounds of man during my visit there today, the view of the marsh and the waterfowl were spectacular, and went a long way toward erasing any distractions I had due to noise.

While the refuge contains an educational center, the main attraction is the boardwalk and observation platforms that allows one to get out onto the water and able to come in closer contact with the birds and other wildlife of the area.

My husband and I walked the entire perimeter of the main marsh which took us about an hour and 1/2, including stops. On this beautiful 60 degree January day, we came across many fellow hikers, and like us, many had their dogs in tow. While we did see a group of seagulls and a blue heron at the marsh today, I look forward to returning in May when all of the migrating birds on their northward journey pass through.

If you would like additional information on the refuge, please click here.

Nature defined...

2012-01-04T18:14:00.010-05:00

Much of the reading I do suggests the benefits of time spent in nature and I am told nature will heal what ails us. This part I know and understand. What I understand less is exactly what is defined as nature. Some books suggest nature can be found just about anywhere as long as one is outside. It can be found in your backyard, along a suburban street or in a forest preserve. I have always scratched my head at some of these suggestions and no matter how hard I try, I don't ever feel like I am in nature as I walk along a street in a neighborhood.

Some may argue that nature is all around us and I certainly would agree. For you can find trees and air and sky and insects on a suburban street and those things are nature. But you can also find trees, air, sky and insects on any street in downtown Chicago and I really would have a hard time feeling like I am in nature under those circumstances. I think it is the noise of man that intrudes in both the downtown city locations as well as the suburban locations. Also the hand of man, what with his grooming of his domain, his lawns, the pruning of trees and clearing of underbrush. The cleaning up of nature takes away from nature, wild nature.

So when books suggest that it is important to spend time in nature, I think they must be referring to wild nature. Nature that is free, away from man. Nature filled with sticks and stones, leaves and fallen branches, tangles and brambles, tall towering trees, low flowering plants. Critters scurrying, water flowing, birds calling, quiet. Messiness. Away from the sterility man creates with his landscapes.

I have been looking for a wild natural place that I can travel to close to home. Heading over to the forest behind the college is a good 10-15 minute walk and I wanted to find something within 5 minutes that I could travel to and visit each day. Well this morning I remembered a small pocket park close to home and after visiting there was well rewarded with not only a place to sit out of the elements, but also a fairly good example of the wild nature I am searching for. At this time of the year with the leaves off, it appears somewhat barren but soon the leaves will be back and I will be immersed totally in nature, not able to see a single home from my perch.

I bet many of us have close by wild natural areas that we can visit just a short walk from home. I know when I lived in Illinois, there was a beautiful wild area near my nature-less neighborhood that I loved to visit and well worth the effort to get there. Seek out these places and reap the benefits of getting more in touch with true nature, refusing to settle for the boring landscapes of man. Refusing to call a walk around your suburban neighborhood being in nature.

Losing yourself in Crum Creek Woods...

2012-01-02T21:36:00.004-05:00

Tucked just behind Swarthmore college lies a beautiful tract of land, running alongside Crum Creek. A small parcel of land really, hard to get lost in but a perfect place to get lost if you choose to.

My dog likes to run along the hills or splash in the creek, losing her mind as she rushes about reveling in the freedom to investigate as she pleases.

My son likes to rock climb here or simply spend time reading, losing himself in a story.

Hiking these trails I discover that losing myself in nature may be the best way to find myself. Let the beauty of the natural world bring you peace in the New Year!

The Selves We Had To Be...

2012-01-01T22:43:00.015-05:00

Thanks, Robert Frost by David Ray
Do you have hope for the future?
someone asked Robert Frost, toward the end.
Yes, and even for the past, he replied,
that it will turn out to have been all right
for what it was, something we can accept,
mistakes made by the selves we had to be,
not able to be, perhaps, what we wished,
or what looking back half the time it seems
we could so easily have been, or ought ...
The future, yes, and even for the past,
that it will become something we can bear.
And I too, and my children, so I hope,
will recall as not too heavy the tug
of those albatrosses I sadly placed
upon their tender necks. Hope for the past,
yes, old Frost, your words provide that courage,
and it brings strange peace that itself passes
into past, easier to bear because
you said it, rather casually, as snow
went on falling in Vermont years ago.

“Mistakes made for the selves we had to be”. This passage resonated with me. The selves wrapped up in pleasing, seeking acceptance rather than one’s truth. This past is hard to swallow. The years stacked one on top of another, built on personal falsehoods. Built on someone else’s vision of who they’d like you to be. These pasts are hard to bear.

But a collection of pasts, experiences considered and appraised, solved and understood, can potentially set one free of these hollow pasts. Like a vast cosmic puzzle, pieces viewed and connections made, one can begin to see the real picture of self. To see personal authenticity based on ones hopes and dreams, not on those of another. This past is easier to bear.

This is the past I must strive for always as I move ahead into the New Year. A year built on my truths, girded by the knowledge of who I am, my passions and desires steering me into the future. Moving forward, while building meaningful pasts.

Happy Winter Solstice Eve! Out of the Darkness, Into the Light!

2011-12-21T11:48:00.003-05:00

Wallowing in the black depths of the night,

lost among the shadows.

Long travels lacking direction,

despite the glimmer of light overhead.

Stars in a milky black sky,

offering hope.

A key that unlocks,

Bringing a way out of the brambles,

Untangling that which holds.

A knowing.

Knowing.

Shock and wonder,

contemplating the impact.

Further along the dirt path,

floating like a butterfly, above the fray,

freedom comes.

Light and airy,

moving with the wind,

perching on love, and gratitude with joy.

Sorrow for what can’t be changed,

yet acceptance.

Fearlessness and strength,

Opening to all that is.

embracing and being embraced,

the sun rising on the wings of this new day.

This day.

A new way.

Local Yule Trees

2011-12-20T10:47:00.005-05:00

To be honest, I don't know how far the Yule trees traveled that were featured for sale on my local fire department's lot. Maybe they came from North Carolina or quite possibly Maine, but I do know their close proximity to my home allowed me to obtain one without using any fuel this year. Typically, my family and I head out into the country, spending the day and lots of gas to arrive at the perfect place to select and cut down our tree. But when we noticed a tree lot being set up by the fire fighters at our local station, we decided to purchase our tree from them instead. To support their cause and our desire to shop local.

After selecting our tree, Mike and Ryan carried it the few blocks home where it now stands proudly decorated in our living room, ready for the upcoming Yuletide.

As 2011 winds down, I feel a sense of gratitude that this year has brought me the opportunity to finally begin to live my environmental values in a huge way. To have downsized into an appropriately sized home for our family. To live within walking distance of all day to day activities such as the food co-op, library, bank, post office, public transportation etc... To have reduced the use of my car to mostly just going back and forth between church and my son's alternative education center twice a week. To have close walking access to the woods and creeks near my home for my enjoyment as well as my pup's. To have found a sense of community in my neighborhood and borough as well as through my church and son's alternative school, allowing me to begin to put down strong roots and create a sense of place for myself and my family.

So yes, our Yule tree may have come from somewhere else far away. But so did I. I am not local to here either. After a bit, my tree will be chipped up and spread on the gardens and soil of this new place creating new life from itself, just as I myself will bring something new to this place I now call home.

For the Journey...

2011-12-13T15:46:00.003-05:00

This branching tree with its many paths, I view each morning as I look out my window. Tall and straight, reaching skyward, it certainly knows where it is heading. Along the way the tree had many choices, many branches to develop further but it choose instead to grow upright, following it true path.

Its roots are grounded solidly with as much below ground as above. Digging deep, searching for the strength to keep itself from toppling. Rooted in the knowledge that it is on the right path.

When I head into the woods, I notice there are many trees that serve as examples of a life well lived, a knowing. These guides offer stability, wisdom and strength for the journey to those that are willing to stand close and feel the roughness of their bark. Venturing into the woodlot, friends and family, books in tow, I know I am on the right path, the clear path to me.

While I understand I am wandering on the correct trail, I still don't necessarily know where I am going. I sense this unknowing in life doesn't have to be known. It can just be followed, taking a step forward, enjoying each step over the leaf strewn path, around the rocks and over the hills to a secret spot.

My spot, where I can sit amongst the trees and watch the creek amble along. The birds offering their thoughts and the stones at my feet radiating warmth. This place, this space is mine. Where I can journey forward knowing that it's OK to not know.

New Day...

2011-12-03T07:10:00.002-05:00

Looking east out my window, the sun not yet up, a new day begins, perched between what was and what will be. This in-between place, this moment, not yet written in history and not something you are looking forward to but the place where you are living now, this second, is what matters. Is what allows you to build a life, these moments built one on top of another, joined together.

I want to rest within this space in time, stretch it out and linger in it, feel my breath, listen to the birds outside my window, notice my dog resting on the couch, feel the warmth of the heat from the furnace, smell the coffee brewing. This moment, this day, let it begin slowly as I pause to feel gratitude for all that graces my world. The beauty that surrounds me, the love that holds me, the community that supports me. There is much good in this world. As the sun reaches higher in the sky, a new moment is upon us. Enjoy it!

Can't see the forest for the trees...

2011-12-02T14:28:00.006-05:00

Sometimes when you spend so much time looking at the small pieces of a puzzle that make up a whole, you miss out on the big picture. You go round and round, looking at each piece and trying to figure out how it relates, how it impacts your life. And you come up empty because you can't find the connections. One day something is pulled back- much like when the leaves fall off the trees in the fall and you can finally see how far a woodlot extends- and suddenly everything makes sense. You can see the whole forest, your whole life as you've lived it clearly. Your world opens up when this happens. You no longer have to wonder why things have been the way they have been because you know. As the leaves have been falling this fall, my awareness has grown. With the leaves finally off, I now know. May all of our deep questions find answers so that we can live our truth unencumbered.

Baring our Souls...

2011-11-15T18:15:00.004-05:00

When all is stripped away, we are all the same...

Taking Steps...

2011-11-08T11:21:00.003-05:00

Been looking for some ways to take better care of myself. To find that elusive "me time" that can be so difficult to find as a wife and mother. Since sometime last month, I have shirked my household responsibilities for the most part and focused instead on participating in activities that bring meaning into my life. Spending time working on my passions rather than spending time spinning my wheels.

This process of change first began to take place by setting aside two days a week while my son was at his homeschool co-op in order for me to spend time on the pursuit of my interests, nothing else. No errand running, no returning phone calls, no shopping. To leave the house in the morning, my bag filled with books and computer, writing paper and camera with a solid 7 hours ahead of me to do research or reading, contemplation or just spending time in the woods.

I am amazed at the results, finding this time of following my passions to be expanding into many other areas of my life as I've gone along. No longer do I find myself pursuing my interests only two days a week, but find this special time has found its way into many other days of the week, essentially changing the way I approach all of my days. Reinvigorating me, giving me a sense of purpose. Time for myself is no longer something "out there" that I never seem to have time for but something that feels available whenever I need it.

The funny thing is, none of the rest of my life seems to be suffering because of my new focus. In fact, everything feels more organized than it has in ages with the laundry done, dinner on the table most nights, and the house relatively clean. What I am discovering then is that when people are fulfilled in life, they have more energy for all aspects of life and can find room for all they need to accomplish.

Taking steps. Letting go of the "must do's" for the "want to do's" and finding it all come together.

Through the Forest...

2011-10-31T13:12:00.003-04:00

Newly fallen leaves,

drenched with recent rain,

makes the trail through the woods

slippery and unpredictable.

But ahead,

the forest opens to a meadow.

Wildflowers nodding

to all that you are.

After the Storm, Blue Sky Endures...

2011-10-30T12:28:00.004-04:00

Creating Belonging...

2011-10-28T10:58:00.004-04:00

Last night at church, in a room full of about 15 people, we gathered together to talk about how to create belonging within our church. To go beyond just a coming together on Sunday mornings and move instead to a place where we form deep connection with one another. To find joy in our interactions. Togetherness.

What is belonging, how do you define it? How do you go about creating it within your community? For me, belonging is first found within the smaller groups of a church or any large organization. These smaller settings are a place where you can build relationships and get to know one another in a more intimate way, which then can branch out into the larger community.

Creating belonging takes some effort on both the side of the organization, and the person desiring to join the group. The organization needs to offer small groups which serve as safe places for new people to get a foothold and the person wanting to join needs to be willing to put themselves out there until they form a few early relationships. It is a two sided street and both must offer up something of themselves.

Some recent examples of ways I have found my way into new groups here in my new area are as follows:

1) At church I joined a Small Group Ministry group last fall which allowed me to meet a group of great women pretty quickly and those relationships offered comfort to me which then allowed me to move into other groups within the church, thus resulting in meeting even more people.

2) At my son's homeschool co-op, they started offering Open Campus days which allow the community to come together for a day once a month. Many different small groups are forming such as book and game clubs, allowing one to get to know others on a smaller scale.

3) I have met most of my neighbors here in my new neighborhood and one neighbor invited me to participate in a weekday morning gathering of dog owners. Her willingness to reach out and include me resulted in me feeling comfortable enough to join in with the larger group of 10-15 dog owners, building community around the shared interest of dogs.

In all of these examples, belonging on my part was found because I was willing to put myself out there and also the organizations I joined provided an easy way for me to get involved through small groups.

I love participating in these organizations and the sense of belonging that comes with it. To begin to find a group of people to share the journey with where we offer up care and support for one another in this often fragmented world.

From Southern Great Lakes Forests to Northern Coastal Forests, you can go home again!

2011-10-24T07:18:00.009-04:00

Ever since I left my native Michigan 30 years ago, I have been looking for home. Looking for a place to sink my roots and establish myself. I have lived in many states since then- Oregon, Colorado, Georgia, and Illinois- to name a few, but none have ever felt quite like home. I always had friendships with people in those states and other things reminded me of home, but there always seemed to be something missing.

When I first moved to Philadelphia, what I noticed most was how life opened up for me and I found my place in many area groups. I began to feel that maybe I had found home due to the many connections I was making with others and I began to think that discovering "home" was all about finding lots of friends in an area.

I also wondered if this area felt more comfortable because Pennsylvania and Michigan had other things in common. They both had Big Ten colleges in their states, both had sports fans with huge loyalties to their professional sports teams, and they shared many of the same chain stores and restaurants.

But after a bit, I realized that there was something more pulling at me here in Pennsylvania. Something more than friends and chain stores. I first noticed it when I was in the woods over at Ridley Creek State Park last week. The way the sun came through the forest and hit on the picnic tables nearby really spoke to me. The dirt path on the trail winding its way through the forest. The feel of the ground under my feet as I walked along. The smell of the woods. Suddenly, I realized I could have been in my native Michigan, the feel of the forest was so similar, so very familiar. The fallen leaves on the path, the bridges over the creeks, the rolling topography, the beeches, the oaks.

After doing some research, I discovered that Michigan lies in the Southern Great Lakes Terrestrial ecoregion and Philadelphia lies in the Northern Coastal Terrestrial ecoregion, different ecoregions for sure, but similar all the same. They both are comprised of hardwood forests and share many of the same local birds and animals. They both have understory trees and forest blooming wildflowers. While their climates are a bit different, Michigan colder in the winter certainly, they both share hot humid summers.

This pull, this feeling of home that I have been searching for and haven't been able to find outside of my native state, has been found finally here in Philadelphia and it wasn't due to just finding friends or chain stores, but due to finding a place whose natural spaces are much like what I grew up with. A place with the same ancient mysteries that essentially take me home. Home, I'm discovering, isn't so much about what you create on the surface of a place, but what a place does to touch those deep recesses of your soul. If you can find somewhere that replicates the woodlands, prairies, deserts or mountains of your childhood, you can go home again, even if you no longer reside there.

For more information on ecoregions click on the links below:

EPA list of Ecoregions in the United States

Short Descriptions of US Ecoregions done by Purdue University

Terrestrial Ecoregions - Southern Great Lakes Forests

Terrestrial Ecoregions -Northeastern Coastal Forests

USGS Land Cover Trends - Northern Piedmont

Mini-retreat

2011-10-18T13:07:00.005-04:00

Yellow jewels hang from branches, beckoning me into nature's embrace. Tree litter covers my tracks as I leave the world behind. Time stops, obligations fall away as I make my way along the dirt path before me. Soon I must go back to pick up my son and make dinner, but for now, I will revel in the ways of nature.

Red Sculpture Lessons...

2011-10-16T18:39:00.009-04:00

A split in the path of sorts. One rising higher for all to see, but stunted. The other taking a more gentle climb. Taking longer yet going farther. The lower path pushing past crossroads, obstacles, and moving into new space. Moving skyward, each crossroad bringing challenges but resulting in supportive lessons and wisdom. Lessons that work toward wholeness. Eventually moving beyond the crossroads, no longer impeded, rising high enough to bask in the warmth of the rising sun, the authenticity of self.

Planting Garlic under the October Full Moon

2011-10-11T12:43:00.002-04:00

When I moved away from my Illinois home in June of '09, I left behind the garlic I had planted the October before. Somehow it felt as though I had left part of myself and when I came back for a a visit later that summer, I walked by my old house and peered over the fence at my ready to harvest garlic, their long stalks doing a dance for me.

I planted garlic for the first time ever in October of '07. The post I wrote about the experience and how I loved growing garlic so much that I wanted to become a garlic farmer can be found here. My love affair with garlic happened naturally and spontaneously and really was unexpected. Maybe it was because my garlic crop connected me to the land. Allowed me to find a way back to the land when I didn't even know my connection had gone awry.
Today is the October Full Moon and many farmers use the full moon in October as a measure of when you should plant your garlic. I have been looking forward to this day for a long time, excited to sink my hands into the dirt of my new home. Excited to know my most beloved crop would soon be nestled in the ground beside my garage. Connecting me to the land of my new home and bringing connection in other ways I have yet to discover.

Picnic Tables - Memories of my Past, Becoming my Future.

2011-10-02T14:48:00.008-04:00

Traveling south on US101 just south of the Oregon border, my husband and I stopped at a roadside pull-off and took out our cooler to sit at a picnic table and share some lunch. The day was cold, it being late December, but we didn't notice the chill so much. Just the sheer beauty of the coastal woodlands we found ourselves immersed in. We were on a grand adventure heading towards the huge towering redwoods of northern California and the city of San Francisco beyond, our first big vacation since marrying. While I have fond memories of all that happened on that trip, it is the stop at the picnic table and the sandwiches we enjoyed that come back to me time and time again.

As a young girl, my family always stopped at picnic table filled waysides to eat while traveling. I loved the novelty of eating outside, family gathered round as we reached into the cooler and brought out food prepared from home. Our hands scrambling to hold plates and napkins down as the wind tugged at everything, threatening to send it all flying up and away. Challenge met as we ate peanut butter sandwiches, stretched our legs and enjoyed the break of a long car ride. Pleasant memories etched into the fabric of my being.

I have read that home is imprinted on children around the age of eight. That the landscape, culture, nature, and place where one resides as a young child forms a bank of memories that can be triggered many years in the future by a scent on the wind, a song on the radio, a view from the car etc...that will send one back to that place of home many years prior. I feel that these home place memories become so etched into who we are that they not only decide what activities we enjoy as we move into our future but also determine which memories we hold dear.

Recently I came across an empty picnic table in the state park near my home and my thoughts turned to the long ago picnic table outside my grandmother's cottage. Suddenly, I was 10 again and sitting beside my cousin as my extended family gathered around to feast on fruit, sandwiches, and buttercream cake put out on the table by my grandmother. I can remember the way the sun glistened on the lake, the way the woodlot beside the cottage smelled as though it was yesterday.

The picnic tables of my youth have become the tables of my future. In a supposed desire to go home again, I continually find myself unconsciously drawn to places that offer picnic tables because those places are where I feel most comfortable, especially after a lifetime of hopping over those wooden planked seats as I drew up to the rustic tables. From campgrounds to parks, all the while imprinting the love of picnic tables onto my own sons, I find myself seeking out picnic tables and have never stopped to consider why I am so drawn to them until now.

I can see now how they tell the story of my long ago past, taking me home again by invoking pleasant memories, but I see too how their comfortable warmth will also take me into my future. The tales those tables tell and will tell. Both of where I have been and also of where I am going.

Quieting my Mind, Slowing my Pace...

2011-09-13T13:52:00.004-04:00

I need to sit awhile and contemplate where I am going. I have been spinning about, moving my belongings from one house to the next and in the process, losing my sense of self, losing my sense of balance. Mind you, all of this spinning has brought me many riches and I love the community I have landed in. I just am not yet planted here. Inertia, a resting and thinking will bring that. I just need to slow down. Way down.

This morning, as my pup and I made our way to the park to meet up with some other dog owners, I stumbled upon a pocket park with a beautiful mosaic bench tucked into one corner. I love things with character- especially those that have the hand of the artist on them- and I immediately slowed down to take a longer look at the pictures created in the tiles. I was reminded that my art, what I want to create for myself in life, had been put away for too long and needs to be drawn back out and worked on.

I think I need to go on a personal retreat. To use solitude to find myself and collect my thoughts. So that I can begin again anew. To find my balance. To think, to breathe. To create something beautiful which speaks to me in much the same way this bench does.

Journeying With Others...To All Who May Know Me...

2011-09-12T14:02:00.007-04:00

Come with me, lets link arms together. Share our lives by upholding the best in each other. Embrace this glorious day and hold it with a smile. To thank you for you and me for me. So joyous to share this journey of life together!

Hold Your Stone and Know That You Are Home

2011-09-10T12:39:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow at church at our annual Ingathering service to kick off the new year, we are going to bless our stones of joy and sorrow. Everyone is asked to bring a stone picked up from a meaningful place this summer, so that these stones can be used each Sunday morning throughout the year as part of our joy and sorrow ritual. A time in our service when one can come forward, pick a stone from a basket and toss it into a bowl of water, the ripples of water sending your silent joy or sorrow out into the universe.

As I thought about what stone I should bring to the service, I realized I hadn't visited any fancy place this summer in which to bring a stone back from. But suddenly it dawned on me that the most important stone for me to bring would be one which was from the backyard of my new home. Of course I thought. Home. My home. Finally. This stone would represent home for me. Finally finding my home. No longer searching for my place and finally being able to embrace what it meant to be home.

As I stepped out into my back yard, all I saw where some simple rocks, gray in color with mottled black throughout. They really didn't appeal to me or really I should say, none of them spoke to me. I didn't feel any sort of connection or energy coming from the rocks I saw until out of the corner of my eye I spotted a smooth white rock tucked under some dirt, a cockeyed smile of sorts etched upon its face. Immediately I knew this was the stone for me. Smiling up at me, asking to become my special rock, the stone that represented Home.

After bringing my rock inside and giving it a good wash, I turned to a book called "Little Stone, Your Friend for Life" by James Wanless and inside I found myself captivated by the section labeled "Home" It so resonated with me and what I was feeling at the time that I would like to share some of the passage here:

Mother Stone

"As first matter, stone is our MA, our mother. Out of stone we have emerged, so it's true in a way: Little Stone is our mother. Just imagine how many human, animal, and plant births she has supported. As the mother of all mother, the Mother Stone makes us feel secure, at home. She gives of herself with unconditional love, always reliable and dependable. So strong and yet so soft. Through her, we grow our roots and wings...so that we can fly, knowing we can return to her. She is home base, always there for us. Haven't we all felt at times insecure, dislocated, unsure, foreign, maybe even alien? Without a sense of place- home- there can be no peace, no comfort, no security, no rest. Feeling at home is the base, ground zero for happiness and success in life."

Going forward, throughout the church year, when I step forward to express a joy or concern, I will look for my little stone smiling up at me, reminding me that I'm home.

Finding connection in all the wrong/right places.

2011-09-03T22:24:00.010-04:00

When my son asked if I would be interested in visiting an amusement park with some friends of ours, I really didn't want to go. To me, amusement parks feel so fake and lack connection with the natural world that I so crave. I have disliked amusement parks so much in fact that my son at age 15 had never visited one. Never felt the thrill of roaring down a hill on a roller coaster or splashing into the water at the bottom of a flume ride.

As much as my son pushed to go, I pushed back with a million reasons why we shouldn't. The heat, the crowds, the bad food, the corrals of people waiting forever to board a ride. Ugh! No, no, no, I exclaimed! I wanted Ryan to see it my way, to understand my thinking and agree that we should just stay home and avoid the whole very bad scene.

But Ryan was not to be dissuaded and after a bit, I came to understand how important the trip was to him. Even though I didn't agree with his thinking and even though I really hated the thought of spending the day at a place that went totally against how I like to spend my time, I relented.

The day before the trip, as I complained to my mom about the amusement park, she offhandedly suggested I take my camera, thinking I might want to shoot something interesting for my blog in one of the many small towns along the way. While I didn't see anything worth photographing along the way I did began to photograph my son and his friends enjoying the rides at the park. After a bit, as I reviewed each shot after I took it, one thing began to stick out in the photos time and time again. Ryan's smile. His big, authentic, full of happiness smile.

In that moment, something shifted within me and suddenly all of Ryan's smiles were worth so much more than anything I could have accomplished by staying home. Making him happy by giving up something of myself felt so good and reminded me of the fact that life isn't about getting what you want but about giving up some of what you want in order to find deep connection with another. That hanging in there and finding your way through a disagreement or tough situation can bring something unexpected and incredibly meaningful.

Beauty in the Storm...

2011-08-28T10:31:00.012-04:00

With no power at home, trees down across roads and flooding conditions as a result of Hurricane Irene, there really isn't much to appreciate about enduring a hurricane. But just a bit ago, when the sun peeked out for a few minutes, I saw the most massive rainbow I have ever seen. Serving up an important life lesson and reminder for myself that when life feels stormy, beauty endures.

Life is stormy. People don't do things the way you would like them to. They live life differently than you do. They don't follow through or are late or don't show up at all. They make different decisions for their family than you do yours. They don't treat others the way you feel they should. They don't understand you and sometimes say mean things to you. For these reasons and more, you feel certain people are not part of your tribe and deserve to be scorned, walked away from or ignored, bringing gray skies to your life and theirs.

But beauty endures. Shining sun upon rain clouds brings rainbows. Make yourself into a ray of sunshine when you encounter people that bring storms to your life. Many times things are not as they first appear. Switch things around by looking at the situation from many angles and attempt to put yourself in their shoes, to figure out where they are on their own personal journey. Maybe you were once where they are today. Light up with understanding and compassion rather than the cloud of judgement and scorn. We do not all have to be on the same page and different colors residing next to one another is what makes a rainbow so beautiful.

Bring beauty to this world. We have had enough storms.

Afternoon Coffee's On...Precursor to Fall Weather

2011-08-22T14:59:00.009-04:00

When the coffee pot is put to brew in the mid-afternoon and not just in the morning, I know fall is just around the corner. Like birds that are signaled to fly south when the weather turns cold, I feel it in my bones when the planet has made a shift from summer toward fall and I find myself desiring a cup of joe in the afternoon.

Today dawned with a coolness, a fresh breeze that made my morning walk with my pup feel especially wonderful, as I found the stale, humid air of late blown out and away. The blue sky was a welcome sight after all of the rain storms we've been having this summer as well. As Dakota and I made our way around the borough, we made a stop at the library to return my overdue books before continuing along, stopping to greet other the dog owners also out enjoying this fine day.

After my morning cup of coffee and a not so fun trip to the dentist, I found myself making my way up to the co-op to fetch some items for dinner tonight. Again, I enjoyed the delightful air and blue sky as I ambled along. A side trip to the bank to get some money was nice because I got to peer into each shop along the way, their doors thrown open to enjoy the day. The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. Well, not really those shops. But sometimes when I walk along the streets of the borough, I feel as though I have gone back in time. All of the homes are almost 100 years old and with most everyone on foot or bike, it feels like I have traveled through a time machine.

I just heard the train from Philadelphia running along the tracks and blowing its horn as it crossed over a street near my home. Soon my older son, transported by that same train, will walk through the door returning from his job in the city.

The afternoon is passing, my coffee has brewed. I need to begin to finish making a potato salad I started earlier so that it will be ready for a potluck dinner meeting I am attending tonight. My contemplative time is over. I will rush about for a few hours now before settling down and watching the day pass into night. The cool air floating through my windows, guaranteeing a delightful night sleep.

Remembering My Brother Erik, 11/5/63 - 8/19/08

2011-08-18T12:25:00.008-04:00

In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we remember them.

In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember them.

In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember them.

In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer, we remember them.

In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we remember them.

In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them.

When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them.

So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

~Ronald B. Gittelsohn

Replacing Lawns with Gardens...

2011-08-17T08:11:00.006-04:00

With the weather starting to cool and make a move toward fall, I find my thoughts turning to gardening. It has been a long 2 years since I have owned a home and now that I am in a place of my own once again, I can do what I'd like with the yard. The many beautiful gardens in the borough I live in inspire me as my dog Dakota and I make our morning rounds.

Flowering gardens are given preference over boring green lawns in my town and it is so refreshing to see how beautiful a yard can become when one decides to not have any lawn at all. Nature abounds in these spaces and calls me to create something born out of wild abandon in my own yard.

I have always been drawn to wild over restrained and I am glad to see most in this area feel the same. Nary is a lawn mower heard on a Saturday around here. The sounds of insects buzzing through the garden and birds in the trees sounding out loud and clear and not drowned by man's machines. Why can't more people embrace nature and allow it into their spaces? It certainly would make for a more beautiful world.

Longing for Mother...

2011-08-16T06:11:00.005-04:00

I have always wondered about the pull I feel when I am out in wild spaces. The ache in my heart that speaks of amazement, wonder and longing and can be found whether I am looking skyward at the trees towering overhead or viewing dancing wildflowers along a wooded trail. I feel this pull as I revel in all that the natural world offers and this ache brings me into nature's fold, wrapping me up in its beauty, embracing me in wildness.

This is the same embrace a child feels as she is swept up into the arms of her mother. Fulfilling a longing, a connection to be with what brought one into being.

After spending a fair amount of time in the natural world, residing in the bosom of nature, I begin to feel adequately satisfied and find the ache, the pull, begins to ebb. I find that time spent resting in the lap of my mother, earth mother, fulfills a longing, allows connection with what brought me into being.

Dark Damp Day

2011-08-14T08:31:00.002-04:00

Waking up to the sound of rain upon the roof and distant rolls of thunder, I knew today would bring a slower pace than usual. No walk for the pup, no yard work to tackle. Just a slow ramble through the day reading and thinking and resting. I love the forced relaxation that rain filled days bring! Enjoy the day!

Reaching for the Sky...

2011-08-12T09:53:00.003-04:00

A once read that the root system of a tree is as big underground as the growth you see above the ground. That the roots and branches are essentially a mirror of one another, roots spreading out underground and supporting all of the branches reaching skyward. I would imagine herbaceous plants such as the sunflower would need this same sort of support structure as well.

Just like plants, I understand that I need to have a strong support structure in order reach skyward myself. Every time I move to a new place, my roots severed, I find it takes me a bit to regain my footing. I falter and am not able to put much out into the world as I rebuild my roots and connections in a new place.

Such has been the case with my recent move but slowly, as my roots push deeper, I am beginning to put out some top growth. Recent connections with neighbors and fellow dog walkers have allowed me to branch out and discover that local dog owners meet each Saturday and Sunday morning in a park to let their dogs run free. A visit to that park this weekend will allow me to connect with new people and continue branching outward in new ways.

Other neighbors I have recently met have shared with me the history of my house and town, where the best coffee shops are, news about how the borough operates and what the loud horn blasting at various hours means (a call out to the volunteer fire department), allowing me to form a foundation and understanding of this new place I reside in. As I process all of this information, I find myself getting more and more comfortable, getting more rooted.

Part of me wants to rush this process of getting established here. To move straight to the glorious leafing out part, standing straight and tall and starting to put out blooms. I find myself frustrated that I have to go through this all again. I have moved so many damn times in my life, cut my connections so many times, I feel I should be entitled to just skip all the ground work. But when considering what nature requires, the need for foundation to support growth, I find my frustration easing, knowing that the groundwork I lay now with allow flowering down the road.

Dakota's Summer Morning...

2011-08-05T09:26:00.007-04:00

Just as the sun was cresting over the horizon, bringing forth brand new possibilities for this day, my dog Dakota and I were out taking our morning walk. Easing our minds into thinking about how we wanted to spend this morning, her with thoughts of a rest upon return home, me with thoughts of how to settle my mind after a month filled with orchestrating a move to my new home.

After breakfast, Dakota settled upon the couch in the living room, me in the family room. Dog bowl filled at the ready for her, coffee cup in hand for me.

As I watched Dakota beginning to let her day unfold, resting upon the couch, it dawned on me that I should do the same. Just let things happen as they should and not try to force or figure out how best to spend the day.

Taking cues from Dakota, I decided to watch the world go by.

Let the sun play upon my face.

Wonder about things.

Investigate from an armchair.

Take it easy,

And just be. What will this day bring I wonder?

Don't Weed Out Beauty...

2011-07-29T08:41:00.010-04:00

Nestled as I am in my new home, as most of the moving boxes have made their way to the recycling center and my belongings have been tucked onto shelves or into drawers, I can't help but turn my attention outdoors to the yard. While I have been busily attending to the matters inside the house, the weeds and wildflowers just outside my door have been having a heyday. With nobody to keep them within their bounds, they have gone crazily wild, twisting and extending, encouraging newcomers to join their ranks and basically taking over the place.

Pokeweed is everywhere, blocking the walk to my front door and growing to huge proportions in the blink of an eye. Where to begin I wonder? Which plants get pulled and which ones stay? Having been a long time gardener, I know which ones would be considered weeds according to the botanical experts, but the idea of plants being defined by good or bad bothers me. Playing god and deciding the fate of a living thing bothers me. Who's to say which plant really is a weed? Certainly not me. So what to do?

I don't know the answer to this one. Our whole society is based on rewarding those things that are the most beautiful, and ignoring those things that are not so. By extending this thinking to our gardens and pulling out the weeds, we end up with a very contrived looking planting. When people exert power over their looks and weed out what they consider inferior and puff up their looks through hair dying and makeup, they get this same contrived look too. When nature is allowed a free hand, true beauty blooms in our fields and gardens. When people are allowed freedom to be natural in their looks, true beauty blooms there too. Fear of being different, perpetuates the line of thinking that allows us to groom ourselves and nature. Breaking away takes courage yet brings freedom and a relief of no longer having to follow the rules.

Thankfully, in this town I now live in, there aren't many rules to follow. There is a freedom to just let things go - for both gardens and personal looks- and I love that. Maybe freedom from expectations will allow the weeds flourishing in my garden to have a chance to live out their lives here, happily ever after, as will I with my gray hair and lack of makeup.

Don't let Lyme Disease Fears Keep You Away from Nature...

2011-07-19T14:19:00.003-04:00

When I first moved to the East Coast from Illinois, fears of contracting Lyme disease kept me away from natural areas for awhile. After doing research though, I came up with a plan which would allow me to spend time in wild areas while avoiding Lyme disease.

First plan of action is to be as knowledgeable as possible about Lyme Disease. Be aware of the risks and know how to prevent it. Also know the symptoms so you can be treated as soon as possible if you contract it. A few simple precautions will go a long way toward keeping yourself safe. I used the following website to provide me with information because it is specific to my area: http://www.lymepa.org/ but I am sure there are lots of others with great information.

Here is my Lyme disease prevention plan when visiting natural areas:

Wear light colored clothing and check for ticks on yourself frequently.
Stay on trails and walk in the center of trails, away from tall grass.
Don't sit on the ground, fallen logs or stone walls...all places that harbor ticks.
Remove clothing after returning home, then wash and dry.
Take a shower with a wash cloth after returning home.
Check for ticks, especially along hairline, groin, armpits.
Whether you have spent time in a natural area that day or not, check for ticks nightly if you live in a tick prone area.
If you take your dog into natural areas, make sure you treat them monthly with Frontline and check them for ticks when returning home as well.

The crazy thing is I have never found a tick on myself after spending time in nature, but pulled one off of myself on a day spent at home just after moving here last October- proof that ticks can be anywhere. Luckily, the tick I pulled off wasn't engorged, a sign that it hadn't been on me long enough to transmit Lyme (I hope!).

Following these precautions will not guarantee that you don't get Lyme disease but they will go a long way from having you get it. The one difference between my Lyme disease prevention plan and that of the experts is that they suggest you apply DEET to your clothing. I have never followed this approach because of DEET's toxicity and have found that following the steps above, especially checking thoroughly for ticks afterward does the trick. Don't let fear keep you from enjoying nature when a few simple steps will keep you tick free.

Animal Speak...

2011-07-14T00:18:00.009-04:00

Nothing like a little screech in the night to bring all human conversation to a halt. Tonight, mid-sentence, my son and I did just that when from the woods we heard what we thought was the yowl of a bobcat. Silence reined as the sound was upon us and we both whispered out loud, "what was that?" We listened intently for a few minutes more and heard nothing, the screech we had just heard playing over and over in our minds, trying to decipher exactly what had made that sound.

This moment in time reminded me of a night many, many years ago when I was camping with my mother and two young sons. We were in a campground in Wisconsin and the air was filled with the lively voices of fellow campers, enjoying their campfires and the crisp night air. Suddenly, a chorus of coyotes yipped and sang and the campground fell deathly silent. Animals voices replaced human voices as the humans strained to figure out what exactly they had heard. What animal had made that sound?

Maybe it was a bit of fear that had quieted us both then and now. How close were these animals we wondered? A feeling of needing to get inside where it was safe came over us. Safe from what? From ourselves? Tucked into our homes, away from animals that we ourselves are, makes us less safe actually. With walls separating us from the the outside, we find ourselves removed from our true animal selves, the part of us that is in touch with the land and knowing how best to walk upon it without destroying it. Maybe those animal voices we heard had something to tell us and rather than listen, we ran away.

Nature Calling You Home...

2011-07-12T13:24:00.005-04:00

Walking alone in the woods on a trail not too far from the terminus of the Appalachian Trail, I could feel something pulling at me. As I traveled along a dirt path, making my way toward a bunkhouse where I would spend the night, I stood in awe of the towering trees and the wildflowers nodding their heads at me. Lichen on the trees, creeks flowing and birds overhead. A feeling of being at home washed over me. As though I belonged there in those woods.

A year later, I returned to those same woods, bringing my husband along and the year after that, we included our sons. Each time I traveled that path, I felt a connection unlike any I had felt before and I was surprised to learn just recently that my sons and husbands had felt that same sort of special connection when they traveled into that same magical place.

What made those woods so special that they spoke to each of us in that way? What set it apart from other natural areas we had traveled to? I feel it was the result of total immersion in the forest for a period of days without the distractions of the modern world. We left our screens and material possessions behind and traded them in for the stillness and quiet of the wilderness, connecting with something outside ourselves but still very much part of us. The air, the soil, the water...learning a new language, a language of the land, as we walked along.

Because we are nature we belong there in the woods more than we do in front of our TV's or walking along a sidewalk in town. We have come from nature and today modern man has lost his way, material goods separating us from ourselves. As we spend time purchasing I-Phones and computers and other gadgets we are simply trying to fill the void we feel by being separated from nature. A simple walk in the woods would fix what we are seeking. Next time you feel like something is missing in your life, head to the forest and feel the pull of the wild calling you home...

Paint - Before and After

2011-07-07T15:40:00.008-04:00

Been working in 90 degree temperatures this last week to paint the entire inside of the house I bought a week ago. My kids run when they see me coming because they know I will have a project in mind for them. They have been a tremendous help though and here are some shots of the transformation we have made. Above picture, living room before we bought the home.

Living room with our new paint job and some of our belongings beginning to be moved in. Built in benches situated in front of fireplace is known as an inglenook.

Library before we owned the home.

Library after we painted walls and shelves with boxes full of books set to be placed onto shelves.

Library again showing our dining table where it will stay- against the wall for family meals and pushed to the center of the room for entertaining.

Dining room before.

Dining room with new paint. We will use this room as a family room, nicely situated as it is off the kitchen.

Upstairs den and game room before.

Den with our changes in paint and furniture. One entire wall of this room is filled with shelves which we will use to store games and such.

My husband and I's bedroom before we bought the house.

Our bedroom after.

My older son's room before.

Older son's room after new color applied to walls. Curtains need to be hemmed obviously.
Younger son's room before.

Younger son's room after, picture above and picture below. Will show kitchen and baths when they are completed. Excited about moving into this house 2 weeks from now. Still have lots to do beforehand but glad to have a good part of the painting behind us.

Goodbye Nature?

2011-07-05T08:51:00.001-04:00

Living as I have for 9 months now, out in the country, surrounded by nature, with the songs of birds and wind in the trees louder than the sounds of man, I am made to wonder, will my connection to nature dim somewhat when I move back into town? I have found my connection to the natural world strengthened while living here and with nothing else to distract me when I stepped out my door, it has been pretty easy to notice and participate in the natural world.

I needed this time to discover the important role that nature plays in my life. To reawaken myself to it. To find focus and direction in my life. I feel a bond has been made that no amount of city living will revoke. In fact, it may simply be time for me to rejoin the more man-made world, in order to help find ways to allow people to become more aware of their broken connection to themselves, to nature. There are a few possibilities on how I can achieve this...I just have to see how things unfold.

Our New Home...

2011-06-29T06:00:00.003-04:00

We close on our house this morning. Here is a picture of our soon to be street, taken just after spring dawned and just after we put the offer in on the house. The leaves on the trees are much thicker now.

The library. Just one of 4 small rooms on the first floor. Pretty easy floor plan. Library, living room, dining and kitchen on the first floor, four bedrooms upstairs.

Front door and living room. Don't like the yellow paint. Will be painting most of the interior walls with zero VOC paint.

Got to get into painting mode. Lots of loud music to motivate me is needed. Glad my boys will be around to help. Just like in the old days when folks had big families to spread the work around. Soon I will come to understand that concept in a very intimate way.

Can't wait to get in a begin to make this home my own...

The Packing Has Begun!

2011-06-27T10:15:00.002-04:00

Going to be a bit crazy between now and the end of July while we shift out of a house we have been renting for the last 9 months and into a home we are buying about 10 miles from here.

The place we are buying is in a heavily treed college town and our home which is about 100 years old, is located just two blocks from the town center which has a college, woods and creek for mountain biking, hiking off leash with our dog and outdoor rock climbing. Also a food co-op, train line into Philadelphia, library, independent coffee shop, farmer's market, and other basic town stuff.

I am so excited to be moving into this house and will be happy to be able to walk most of the places I need to go. Having public transportation available will be fantastic too. Living out in the country for the last several months has been wonderful and I will miss all of the birds and animals but I think my new town will offer up wildlife opportunities as well given how wooded it is.

Our new house needs lots of work and we are working hard to determine how to fix things up using the most environmentally sound practices. The good thing is we will be reducing our carbon footprint before we even make a single change because the house is considerably smaller than the one we are in.

This reduction in house size is going to require I get rid of some of my antique furniture so I will run those items over to a local antique shop and see if I can sell them. That is what I love about furnishing my house with old stuff, you buy used and can turn around and sell things when you no longer need them and nothing goes to the landfill.

A few more days of relative calm before the storm of moving begins...

Farms, Childhood, and a Native American

2011-06-24T08:00:00.005-04:00

When my now 23 year old son Jimmy was 2, I made a trip back to Walled Lake, Michigan to visit the land I grew up on. I was excited to show him the special natural places I had enjoyed as a child. I couldn't wait to show him the pond edge where I had found baby frogs...so small...tiny replicas of big ones. I wanted him to stare in to the murky waters and see the wiggly polliwogs, their tiny legs starting to protrude from their fat bodies. I imagined him running carefree through the tall grass to my secret reading spot or checking out the old barns. I figured things may have changed a bit over the years but I didn't think it would be all GONE!!!

Coming down Ladd Road to where it intersects with West Maple brought immediate confusion. Expecting to see the softness that nature lends to an area- fields and ponds and clumps of trees- my eyes met factories and parking lots, roads and manicured green grass. I shook my head in disbelief, tears welling up in my eyes. How could this be? The wetland area where I had found the baby frogs was filled in and a road clogged with busy cars was built on top of it. The barns, my house, all of it gone- a busy industrial park there instead.

Even today, I cry with the memory.

Last night, I heard a similar story of loss. While attending a talk at Pendle Hill, a Quaker study center, Carl Big Heart, a spiritual teacher and medicine keeper in the Turtle Clan, told a story of losing his boyhood home located next to Pendle Hill when a highway was built through it. Big Heart's family was pushed off their land when the government seized their land using eminent domain laws, after which time the family moved away to Vermont.

Years later, Big Heart found himself back in the Philadelphia area for a family funeral, and as he was traveling along a highway one dark and foggy night to pick up a relative from the airport, he began to sob uncontrollably. Through his tears, off to the side of the highway, he spotted his beloved beach tree. The tree he had visited repeatedly as a boy- it was still standing! Saved from the destruction of the highway. Big Heart wondered if this living land of his youth remembered him. The cells of the soil, the tree, did they know he was there? As he traveled over the land of his youth on the highway across it, he vowed to come back one day and visit. To hug the beech tree and have it hug him.

These stories of loss show me how connections to the land made early in life bring about a care for the earth that runs deep to the core. So deep these connections run that there doesn't appear to be a separation between oneself and the trees, the ponds or the fields. The living beings that inhabited the land. These connections to the land, to Mother Earth, have been broken as we have moved away from raising our children on wild spaces and replaced them with groomed subdivisions. Filled their lives with images on a screen.

We need to get our children out into wild spaces again and allow them to form relationships with the land. Let the roots of the trees dig deep into their souls. Let the Great Mystery of life speak to them and bring them compassion and awareness. To revel in the beauty of the water that flows in the creeks and also in them. To breathe the air the flows through the trees and also through them. To feel that we are part of the web and wholly and totally connected and dependent upon Mother Nature.

*Pictures above taken from my childhood home.

Wharton Esherick Museum, A Sense of Place

2011-06-23T08:47:00.006-04:00

Creating a home is a very individual process and can take years to perfect. Every person has different requirements to create a sense of place and comfort in their living environment. Personally, I like to surround myself with items that are borne out of someone's vision, whether it be a piece of furniture, artwork or a textile. These items, handmade and full of character, lend a feeling of warmth that just can't be found through manufactured pieces.

Last weekend, my family and I visited Wharton Esherick's home and studio just outside Philadelphia and just after stepping into his studio, I was immediately surrounded by the warmth created by his furniture and sculptures. Crafted by his hand as he worked with the grain of the wood rather than against it, Wharton created not only beautiful items but also an aura of peace and comfort in his surroundings not found in many places.

Something about handmade is appealing to me as each piece has its own story and uniqueness. The picture above shows Wharton's dining room. His studio was located on the first floor of his home and nestled above that space was his sleeping quarters, kitchen nook and dining area. Wharton could coax a thing of beauty out of any wood that crossed his path as evidenced from the wooden items shown in the pictures in this post.

As I prepare to move into a home my husband and I are buying just 10 miles from where I live now, it is my hope that I can bring warmth and rootedness to that space in much the same way Wharton achieved that in his. When in Wharton's home, I felt a connection between the indoor world of art and the outdoor space of nature, positive energy coming off the furniture, a simplicity of living which achieved a feeling of living in harmony with oneself, stillness and beauty. Difficult to achieve, yet still worthwhile pursuits when creating my own home.

Picture above, staircase connecting Wharton's studio to his living space.

Click on the link below for more information on Wharton Esherick:

Wharton Esherick Museum

*Bottom 3 photos in this post were taken from postcards purchased from the Wharton Esherick Museum. No indoor photography is allowed at the museum.

Just Shine a Light on it...

2011-06-22T16:40:00.007-04:00

Sometimes you just have to shine a light on it. Open yourself up to the thoughts that are waiting to come to the surface and be placed on the page. Allow things to unfold and present themselves as they rise up from deep within.

The process of writing isn't something that I can orchestrate. I am really not in charge of what gets said here on my blog. My fingers move on the keyboard in sync with what lies in my gut. I get my head out of the way and let my unconscious thoughts speak for me. Thoughts and ideas I didn't even know I had really, until I see them in front of me. Me learning about myself as I read what I have written.

Soul Pictures...

2011-06-20T06:23:00.013-04:00

My younger son Ryan asked my older son Jimmy to draw a picture of his soul the other night and told him he had 30 seconds to do it. Having just turned out the lights and crawling into bed for the night, Ryan's strange request threw Jim for a loop. "Are you kidding me, its 11:30pm!" Jim said. Ryan stood steadfast waiting for Jim's response, paper and pencil in hand. Jim thought a minute and then quickly scrawled something on the paper. As my son drew, I wondered myself what I would draw if the same request was made of me. After a quick sketch, my son revealed what he had drawn - a funny Casper the ghost type figure- drawn hastily when he found himself empty of ideas. We all laughed, but were made aware that drawing one's soul isn't easy.

The next night, while sitting outside around the table on our deck- past the time when the bats come out and begin their nightly forage and around the time when the bullfrogs chorus becomes more frequent- we attempted the soul drawing exercise again. This time there were four of us, my husband and I and our two boys. With the lightening bugs lighting up the sky closest to the ground and the stars lighting up the sky way overhead, we tried to draw our souls. Ryan explained that it was important to not think too deeply about it but to draw quickly and from the gut. He had completed several mockups of his own soul picture and was ready to share his view with us just as soon as we finished ours.

After struggling a bit, I drew my soul picture- a spiral, surrounded by a heart with rays emanating outward like the rays coming off the sun. The spiral signifying my life's journey, the heart love, and the rays meaning to carry my journey and love outward. After we all finished and shared our pictures, we each tried to explain their meaning. What I discovered from our sharing was that it isn't easy to know what lies within oneself. To draw a single snapshot that tries to capture who you are at your core. To tap into something hidden deep within and elusive.

Yet, sitting on the deck that night, letting the soft whispers of the insects in the bushes speak for us, our voices quieting down and the thoughts and feelings inside us getting louder, we tried to reach that place. Attempting to draw what we saw and felt, coaxed on by nature.

A Sense of Place Resources...

2011-06-18T13:09:00.010-04:00

* Wharton Esherick Museum, pictured above

I am really interested in discovering a sense of place here in Philadelphia and what better way to do it than visit the workshops and studios of influential artists of this area.

LOCAL ARTS:

Wharton Esherick Museum - Wharton Esherick, woodworker of furniture and sculptures

Philadelphia Magic Gardens - Isaiah Zagar, mosaic mural artist

Brandywine River Museum - Wyeth, painter

John James Audubon at Mill Grove - John James Audubon, artist

Bartran's Garden - John Bartran, early naturalist and plant preservationist

SENSE OF PLACE:

Quaker pamphlet on creating a Sense of Place the Bioregionalism way

Philadelphia Magic Gardens - Visionary Art vs. Folk Art

2011-06-17T17:20:00.017-04:00

When my younger son Ryan was studying visionary art earlier this spring, I wondered how it was different than folk art which has always been my most favorite type of art.

Folk art, as defined by the American Visionary Art Museum is art "learned at the knee" and passed from generation to generation, or through established cultural community traditions, like Hopi Native Americans making Kachina dolls, sailors making macrame, and the Pennsylvania Dutch making hex signs.

Visionary art on the other hand, again defined by the Visionary Art Museum is art produced by self-taught individuals, usually without formal training, whose works arise from an innate personal vision that revels foremost in the creative act itself. In short, visionary art begins by listening to the inner voices of the soul, and often may not even be thought of as art by its creator.

So, the essential difference between folk art and visionary art is that visionary artists don't listen to anyone else's traditions, they create their own. They listen to their own inner voice and create what comes to them from deep in their soul.

Yesterday, my older son Jimmy and I headed down to South Street in Philadelphia to check out Philadelphia Magic Gardens and see the work of a visionary artist named Isaiah Zagar whose mosaics can be found in many places in Philadelphia, but especially at the Magic Gardens at 1020 South Street.

As you can see from all of the pictures in this post which were taken at the Magic Gardens, Isaiah's work is amazing! His mosaics cover half a city block with an indoor gallery and a massive outdoor labyrinth of tiles, mirrors, and found items from the local community. A true example of trash to treasure!

As I stepped into Philadelphia Magic Gardens, I was both shocked and awed at what Isaiah had created and was thankful to those who had worked so hard to preserve his work and keep it from the wrecking ball.

Though the website for the Philadelphia Magic Gardens calls Isaiah's work folk art, I feel it is more in line with visionary art, especially in that there is no true tradition of creating walls out of found items which are then covered in mosaics. Isaiah had a vision that was his alone, borne out of listening to his inner voice, and turning that voice into what lay before my eyes.

It really is impossible to take in all that Isaiah has created in one visit. There are just so many nooks and crannies to investigate. Welcoming chairs throughout encourage one to sit and contemplate the surroundings.

A free mind, unencumbered by expectations is what allowed this work to come to fruition. A reminder to me to let go when trying to bring any of my visions to the surface. To let my soul do the speaking and see what comes.

Above: figures pressed into mortar.

Large panels of tile.

Tiled steps leading up to the second level outdoors.

Bottles pressed into mortar.

Slogans written out with tiles are found throughout.

The wire rims of bike tires are another medium used along with plates and bottles.

More bike tires and glass bottles.

Notice the mortar with layers of found items.

A newspaper story about Zagar, framed at Philadelphia Magic Gardens.

Two, maybe three stories of tiles going straight up the side of a neighboring building.

Close-up.

The basement gallery.

A tall two story wall in the foreground, large wall in the background, all covered with tiles and other assorted found items.

Basement gallery.

First impression of the Magic Gardens as you step outside from the indoor gallery.

Close-up of tile work.

Bottles, tires, tiles, all brought together to create a work of art that is incredibly inspiring...

Philadelphia Magic Gardens Website, click here.

Diet for the Earth

2011-06-14T06:01:00.004-04:00

Diets don't work for humans and they don't work for the earth. Just as a list of foods to avoid in order to lose weight, become cravings before too long, the lists of things we need to do to save the world soon feel like hardships of the same sort. Hard to give up ice cream, cake, potato chips to save our bodies. Big screen TV's, SUV's, and large houses to save the planet. Especially when the things we are being asked to give up are taken out of context.

When we don't understand the connection between ourselves and our bodies, ourselves and our earth, sacrifices feel like hardships and won't have staying power. Before long, the weight is put back on and in the case of the planet, we purchase another round of consumer goods after trying to show care for the Earth by recycling or using cloth grocery bags.

Making a decision to eat right because you care about the health of your body makes it easier to avoid harmful foods. You decide to not consume processed items in order to avoid GMO's or to not eat soy because the estrogen in soy feeds the growth of cancer cells. You form an understand as to why you are avoiding those foods and are not doing it just because your diet told you to. Understanding brings a desire for long term change.

The same goes for the environment. If you understand we are all a part of the natural world, understand that whatever we do to the earth, we do to ourselves, you don't just hear those words, but feel those words. Buying a big, resource depleting car becomes near impossible to do because you know the impact those resources make on our world, ourselves. You are in relationship with the planet.

I feel all the lists of things we can do to save the planet become meaningless without a connection to our planet. Without feeling we are the planet. Before we can embrace those lists and ideas, we need to form a relationship with our world by spending time outdoors, learning to love the natural world. Only then will we be willing to do the hard work to protect it.

Arne Naess, a Norwegian philosopher, founder of the term "Deep Ecology" wrote the following quote which sums up what I am trying to say quite nicely:

"What humankind is capable of loving from mere duty or moral exhortation is, unfortunately, very limited… The extensive moralizing within the ecological movement has given the public the false impression that they are primarily asked to sacrifice, to show more responsibility, more concern, and better morals… [But] the requisite care flows naturally if the self is widened and deepened so that protection of free nature is felt and conceived of as protection of our very selves."

Pennsylvania Homeschooling Portfolio...A Review of our Year.

2011-06-09T14:47:00.009-04:00

I will admit, I was intimidated at first with the more rigorous requirements of Pennsylvania homeschooling law which required a portfolio containing samples of work, standardized tests, an evaluator's report, and a book log, especially after homeschooling in states that didn't have any such requirements. But after just finishing the compilation of my son Ryan's portfolio for this year, I am glad that I had to collect and put together his work in a bound notebook because I now have a fantastic record of all that he did this year which will come in handy when it is time to apply for college.

There is a lot of flexibility in how the portfolio is prepared and an excellent website to refer to when assembling the portfolio is Ask Pauline. Not only will this site provide you with portfolio advice, but offers a wealth of information on homeschooling in PA. In the picture above, I show part of Ryan's book log by subject.

In the science section of Ryan's portfolio shown above, I show some samples of his work, pictures of him doing science experiments, and part of the listing of science resources used. This is just a small sample of the work included in his portfolio and the portfolio itself is just a small sampling of work done for the year.

Under the English tab of his portfolio shown above, I feature a partial listing of English resources used, a sample of research done, and have spread out the manuscript of a novel he is in the process of writing. Again, just a small sampling of work in the portfolio and work done during the course of the year.

We went on lots of field trips this year so much of the history section of Ryan's portfolio includes pictures of our trips. Visiting the places where history was made is the beauty of homeschooling and makes history come alive. Even so, Ryan still used some books as resources and that list is included in the history section of the portfolio as shown above.

Samples of my Ryan's math work and pictures of him doing math along with a list of math resources are shown above.

Finally, above are pictures of some of the electives Ryan participated in along with him taking part in physical education related activities. A resources list is also included.

What I didn't show and what was also included in our portfolio was a daily log of activities we did along with an attendance log. There was also a required health and safety section. When all finished, the portfolio filled a 2 and 1/2 inch binder.

As a homeschooler, Ryan won't receive a typical transcript for high school so portfolios will serve instead. He has already tested how well this portfolio will work in place of a transcript by bringing it to an interview at the local community college and being accepted for fall of 2012- just after he turns 16- the work of assembling this portfolio already paying off!

Snapping Turtle Laying Eggs?

2011-06-08T07:59:00.009-04:00

According to Peterson's Guide on Reptiles and Amphibians, snapping turtles are rarely seen on land unless they are laying eggs in early summer which may explain why my dog Dakota found one this morning just beyond the fence to her pen.

While Dakota may have thought she'd like to dig under the fence to play with her new playmate, I doubt it would have been a pleasant experience for her especially given how the bite of a snapper can be pretty ferocious. Thank goodness for fences!

It Takes a Village...

2011-06-07T17:17:00.008-04:00

It takes a village to raise a child I believe. Children are not shaped by their parents alone, but by the community they are a part of. Peers, adult mentors, homeschool facilitators, and many others all play a part in raising and impacting the lives of the young people in their midst.

This afternoon, I witnessed the beauty of my son's homeschool community come together to celebrate the time spent together during the course of this last year before breaking for summer.

Word gifts were exchanged amongst the young people, showing care for one another by writing words of appreciation to each other. My son spent many hours spelling out exactly what he loved about each of his friends that he had spent the last year with, 40 letters in all!

The beautiful lawn in front of the barn was spread with blankets and lawn chairs as each family enjoyed a picnic lunch together.

The young people graduating and going off into the world to take on new challenges were celebrated as the community as a whole sent them off. Tomorrow night they will have a more intimate special celebration in their honor.

People of all ages comprise our community and all are celebrated. Babies, young people, parents, and grandparents. It was so much fun to spend the afternoon discussing the year gone by and what was being planned for the summer.

Home grown music and talent were featured and enjoyed and people from age five to eighteen to adult performed.

A multiple intelligences display was set up inside the barn featuring many different projects worked on by young people this year. Pottery, chess boards, research projects, sculptures etc... were all arranged neatly on tables and viewed.

I feel a huge sense of gratitude to be a part of this homeschool community. To know that not only is my son benefiting from being raised by this village, but that I am benefiting from being a part of it as well.

What Tree Am I?

2011-06-04T09:25:00.006-04:00

For kicks, I took an online test to see what tree I am and it turns out that I am an Oak. Below are the results of my test. If you are interested in determining what tree you most identify with, here is the link for the test:

http://quizfarm.com/quizzes/new/scaryshari/what-tree-are-you-celtic-astrology/

In the book "Nature-Speak" by Ted Andrews, the Oak with its energy is said to awaken great strength and endurance, even through trying circumstances. It also helps to manifest a stronger and more active sense of helpfulness towards others. Oak has strong ties to the realm of nature spirits and provides energies to open the doorway to the inner realms and their mysteries in meditation, magic and real life. As I read this definition, it fits me pretty well. Take the quiz yourself and see if your tree fits you.

Have fun with it!

My results from the quiz...

You Scored as The Oak

In Celtic astrology, you're an Oak, the most sacred of trees. The animal symbol that accompanies this tree is the wren. The ancient Druids say Oak people are wise, strong, responsible, self-motivated, optimistic and good leaders in the face of adversity. However, Oaks may be prone to being overly serious or intense.

The Oak

80%

The Elder

65%

The Reed

65%

The Ivy

60%

The Alder

55%

The Hazel

50%

The Holly

50%

The Hawthorn

45%

The Rowan

40%

The Willow

40%

The Ash

35%

The Birch

35%

The Vine

30%

Celebration!

2011-06-02T17:40:00.006-04:00

My pup and I hit the trails at a nearby preserve today, participating in a celebration of sorts. A celebration of the day. Just today, just this moment in time. To notice the blue sky, the trees "speaking" to us in the wind. To feel the cooler temps and fresh air that rolled in overnight, ushering the stale air of the last week out to sea. To just be while embracing the day...today!

Raspberries...a Sense of Taste

2011-06-01T17:36:00.004-04:00

Raspberries,

Sweet taste of a Midwestern summer.

Transports me right back to my Grandmother's cottage.

Barefoot, running along the side yard to the water's edge.

Collecting Petoskey stones.

Slumbering in the sun on the dock,

Cousins and siblings by my side.

I can taste the feeling of "up north" Michigan,

of summers oh so long ago.

Simpler time, bonfires and fireflies,

Lighting up the night, my life.

Rootedness, connectedness, family, community.

Circle of life, coming back around.

Different place now, but the taste is just as sweet.

Meditative Woodland Walk at Longwood Gardens...

2011-05-30T13:25:00.006-04:00

Many public gardens and arboretums across the country contain backcountry trails in addition to their more public offerings. These woodland trails offer up quiet and solitude and are a great way to get away from the bustle of the crowds.

A newly created and specially designed meditative woodland walk at Longwood Gardens in Chaddsford, PA. encourages you to temporarily leave the more groomed gardens behind and come into the forest. The idea being to walk or sit quietly and take in the woods and see what nature can offer you.

My husband and I recently recently took advantage of the woodland walk at Longwood Gardens and it didn't take long until the voices of people were replaced by birdsong, hot pavement replaced a dirt path, cool shade overhead. A welcome respite!

I thought the trailside banners, filled with contemplative quotes were a nice touch, reminding you to be quiet and listen, slow down and notice.

I especially loved the above quote. "What did the tree learn from the earth to be able to talk with the sky?" Makes me wonder what we humans could learn from the earth in order to be able to talk with the sky. That if we humans could become more in touch with the natural world, the sky could teach us many things about what really is important in life. I envision our rootedness in the natural world leading us to reach higher and higher, searching for a new way of living in the world.

Not Going to the Dogs...Why Off-Leash Parks are Needed.

2011-05-27T13:47:00.008-04:00

So many trails...so little time. The trail above that my pup is gazing upon may soon close to her. The local park board has decided to place a nature center in an old farmhouse on the property and wants all dogs off all the trails, relegating them to a small, fenced, grassy area instead. The fear is that these wild "beasts" may threaten or harm children participating in activities at the nature center.

For years and years, local dogs have enjoyed romping along many of the off-leash trails in this park, swimming in the creek, and meeting up with other pups like themselves and now suddenly all of that is going to be taken from them. Just because they anticipate that the park will soon be overflowing with children attending the nature center. A nature center located just a few feet from a parking lot which is located at a different entrance than the one the dog owners use.

Based on my experience of visiting nature centers while living in Illinois, nobody really uses the trails surrounding them. Typically mom and dad pull into the nature center parking lot, trudge the few feet up to the entrance of the center, walk in, look around at the stuffed animals tacked onto boards, look out the windows at the bird feeding station, trudge back to the car and call it a day spent in nature.

By comparison, dog owners come to use the trails. They love the out-of-doors and understand that their dogs have a huge need to spend time running free in the wild. No amount of walking a dog on a leash will accomplish what an off-leash experience can. I know my dog can only go a few days without running off-leash before starting to go stir crazy, needing to let off steam. I believe many of the problems people have with their dogs could be avoided by simply allowing them to have a good run every few days.

So why take the park away from the dogs entirely? Why take away the community created by dogs and their owners enjoying the park and each other? Isn't that part of the mission of parks...to create places outdoors to be in community with one another? I certainly understand the need for children to spend time outdoors too and welcome any opportunities to encourage that long forgotten pastime, it's just I don't think dogs should have to pay the price to make it happen.

How about allowing dogs in the early morning and evening when the nature center would be closed? A simple solution I think. Lets provide opportunities for all of us to get out and enjoy our local trails and not exclude some at the expense of another. Both children and dogs need time spent in the natural world, free and unfettered.

New Blog Name...Along the Dirt Path...

2011-05-23T06:37:00.010-04:00

*only my blog name has changed, not its address...I have been struggling with the name of my blog for quite some time. Been trying to continue to embrace the title Goodbye Goods even though I didn't feel it adequately expressed the scope of my blog anymore. Originally my blog was about saying goodbye to goods and writing about the sort of changes I was making in my life to take better care of the earth, but slowly my blog's emphasis has changed to being more in line with nature and spirit and journeying along life's path. An evolution of sorts...

This morning, I stumbled across the words "Along the Dirt Path" on the title of a video my brother Kirk recently produced honoring a walk through the woods with his beloved dogs. As I watched the video, something spoke to me and I knew I needed a change.

See, I have been struggling with the whole environmental movement itself lately as it feels like being on a really hard diet to lose weight without having the understanding behind why it is important to eat healthy. A disconnection. Environmentalists tell you how to save the earth but what gets lost is the why. The connection. Without having a relationship with nature and loving it, you really don't understand or care about the big "to-do" list of saving the world. Especially when many green orientated folks raise the bar to unreachable heights for most of us in their tiny, tiny houses or by not using electricity for a year.

I feel like what we need most is a relationship with the earth and nature and only then will we care enough to put ourselves on a diet designed to save our blue boat home. So for me, I am letting go of the declarative statement "goodbye goods" and welcoming a journey in nature found "along the path." So far I am finding the desire to save the earth much more palatable and I don't mind cutting out the fat as much. A diet with a greater chance of success for helping to save myself and the world.

Capturing Nature Through Art...

2011-05-20T08:26:00.004-04:00

All of the rain we have been receiving lately has made the view outside my window look more like something an Impressionist painter would capture rather than me with my camera. Just as the Impressionist Claude Monet used short, broken brushstrokes to barely convey forms, our locally heavy rain upon my window obscuring the landscape beyond, along with cloudy skies overhead, has achieved somewhat the same effect. The picture above was taken with my camera while the picture below shows an example of Impressionism.

While not a true Monet, the painting above was done by an artist influenced by Monet's painting called "Bridge over a Pond of Water Lilies." Last year while visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art, I visited an exhibit containing Monet's work and was taken with the beauty and vibrancy of it. Reading about Monet, I discovered that he tried to capture the light, color and atmosphere of the natural world into the pure expression of paint on canvas. Monet perceived his art as the result of his relationship with nature saying, "All I did was to look at what the universe showed me and I let my brush bear witness to it."

What pulls at us humans to capture the natural world through photography, painting, singing, writing or in many other forms? Maybe it is our disconnection from it, a desire to be more in relationship with it...

Rain and Wind Today...

2011-05-17T06:30:00.005-04:00

I want to go outside and cry with the earth. Let my tears slide down my cheeks while nature's tears wash them away. Empty myself of all the sadness that wells up in me at times, reminding me of the hard places I have walked. Fill up the creek that runs through my yard, flowing away, letting go.

I want to go outside and feel the wind in my hair. Shout my painful stories into the air and know they have been heard as the trees dance and sway in reply. Repeat my tales over and over again as they are whisked up and away, no human hearing, yet nature knowing.

Rain and wind, cleansing me, clearing me. Healing me.

Beyond the Fence...

2011-05-16T18:39:00.004-04:00

Only this one time will I willingly litter. Cover the newly arrived plants of spring with shredded bits of myself, words describing the parts of me I'd like to release to the earth. Words written on a piece a paper soon to become compost, providing for the soil rather than robbing me of the energy to truly live. Slowly the wind and rain will work their magic and the molecules of me bound up in those words will give way, allowing me to open up to new directions, clearing the way for new possibilities. I wonder what will grow there on that ground along the back fence, the seeds of my words fueling it?

Lack of Community = Excessive Video Game Use

2011-05-13T18:24:00.010-04:00

Over the last two years, my son has experienced three different forms of community, resulting in three different ways he has related to video games during that time. While living in Illinois, he had a handful of friends between his homeschool community and neighborhood and during that time he played video games a few hours each day. A move to Connecticut where he struggled to make friends at all, resulted in a huge increase of his playing, so much in fact that he rarely wanted to do much of anything else. Finally, a move to Pennsylvania, where Ryan has many, many peers his age at his disposal at his homeschool resource center and church, finds him rarely playing video games at all.

Due to this experience, I feel that if teens are not getting an adequate amount of real community, they will turn to the fake community found in video games and other forms of social media. I know when living in Connecticut, I was happy my son could turn to video games and play online with his friends, providing him with a lifeline of sorts. But I always felt like his life was so out of balance. Plugged in yet not connecting face to face. One dimensional contact, lacking in the texture of life.

When teens are able to have adequate face to face contact with their peers, they have an aliveness about them. They branch out and experiment with all of life, investigate new passions and discover who they are. Something a screen can't give them.

The Work of Trees...

2011-05-11T19:50:00.001-04:00

Outside the sun is fading, days end, sunlight cast on just a few trees. Other trees already resting in the shadow of nightfall. All day these trees have been at work- CO2 in, oxygen out- giving life to the world. This example makes me wonder what I gave to the world today. Did my work give life to the world? Does preparing a meal for a new mother or playing a game with and talking to my son count? Is this life giving work? Should my life's work give to the world? If so, what should my life's work be? Maybe I should ask the trees...

Welcome Home!

2011-05-10T06:46:00.004-04:00

My current home is not my home but soon I will be home. Almost a lifetime of waiting for this new place that I have no intention of leaving. A settling in soon coming, allowing me the time to figure myself out. Ever since I can remember, my home has been in transition. Moving from place to place, learning along the way. Piece by piece, picking up bits of knowledge to guide me. A collection of experiences.

My home today is filled with the treasures of my journeys. Past gardens dried and pushed into glass jars, seaglass collected along rocky shores, pinecones picked up in memory as tears of loss fell onto them, old treasures scavenged from flea markets as I wondered about their past lives. Books and birdhouses, Indian pottery and children's art adorn the walls. Cloaked in old wool blankets, I am reminded of where I have come from and where I am going. One foot in the past, the other in the future. Michigan to Virginia, Oregon to Massachusetts, Colorado to Georgia, Illinois to New York then Pennsylvania. World's apart each step. World's waiting each step...

Bat as Spiritual Guide, Animal Totem

2011-05-09T09:00:00.005-04:00

I've been sleeping with bats since I moved into this house last October. Well actually, given the fact that bats are nocturnal and I am not, we really only rest together each night between the hours of 5:30am and when I wake in the morning. Taking into consideration that the bats also leave during the winter months to live somewhere warmer than under the the shutter outside my bedroom window, gives us even less time to be together.

But together we are, and only two feet separate my pillow from their roost where they hang upside down quietly during the day and cause a racket in the very early morning when they return from foraging all night. They outside and me inside the house. Apart yet together.

Living and sleeping near these bats is the closest I have ever come to being with any wild animal and because I feel that everything the universe offers up has relevance, I wanted to understand what wisdom or meaning bats were connected to and why suddenly I found myself in such close proximity to them. What I discovered immediately resonated with me. Doing a quick search on bats as animal totems, I found that because bats are highly sensitive to their surroundings, they are considered by Native Americans as a symbol for intuition, dreaming and vision. Some other words associated with bat animal symbolism are- illusion, rebirth, inner depth, communication, journeying, and initiation- all words associated with the focus of my life as of late.

Bats as totems encourage one to pursue spiritual growth by letting go of ego, doing inner work, renewing thoughts on a regular basis, and loving enemies as ourselves, all leading to the rewards of self-improvement. Because of bats ability to see where others can't, there is also a psychic component to this totem.

Since moving into this house last October, surrounding myself with the natural world outside my windows, and living just feet away from bats, I feel as though I have been on a spiritual journey of sorts, yet not able to pinpoint or understand it. Recognizing the bats as some kind of sign offering up direction on my journey allows me to see my path more clearly. To offer up a hint of understanding that quite possibly I am on the right path. Going forward, I just need to continue to lean into what the universe is bringing me and see where it takes me.

Helpful websites on the topic of bats and bat totems can be found here:

-Bat as Animal Totem.

-Bat Conservation International.

-Bat Conservation and Management.

Maybe you have an animal guide or totem. What animas do you see in your midst? Do they speak to you? What could they bring to your life? Consider the possibilities...

Finding the Light in Your Life...

2011-05-07T12:15:00.004-04:00

At times, clouds obscure the light. You know the sun is there, tucked behind those big puffy orbs, yet try all you might to see it, the light is elusive. Like the clouds, we have obstacles we must push aside in order to see the passions that light up our lives and make them worth living. Many things stand between us and our purpose, distracting us.

The needs and expectations of those we love must be met. Work obligations, household tasks, our self-imposed to-do list, all calling to us and veering us down a path that feels darker and less fulfilling.

We mutter under our breath as we go about our day, "If I didn't have to do such and such, then I would have time to follow my dreams." But what really stands in our way I wonder? Is it really those tasks and obligations, or are these simply excuses we use because we are afraid to set off on our course? To strike a different balance and all the uncertainty that comes with it. Life, even though it may be slightly unsatisfying now, at least offers up predictability. We know what tomorrow will bring for the most part.

Pushing away the clouds and setting off on a new direction, leaving behind our old ways of living, is challenging but holds the promise of reward, of finding our days brighter with renewed purpose. Staying focused on the light and working to clear time in our lives in order to discover our passions and pursue them is worth the effort, the fear, and whatever else stands in the way. It is a sunny day behind the clouds.

Moving my Nest again...

2011-05-06T08:20:00.005-04:00

The bird song was absolutely beautiful this morning as I stepped outside. Singing the praises of this sun-filled spring day. Found an empty nest on the ground under a pine tree which must have been blown out of the branches with all the wind we had yesterday. Wondered about the nest and how the bird that had occupied it felt about being displaced. Having to start anew, despite lots of obvious hard work in getting a home established. I could certainly identify with the bird given all of the moves I have had lately. The starting and stopping, building and rebuilding.
And just like this bird, I will soon move my nest again, down the road a bit from here. This time though, my nest will be durable and able to withstand the test of time. I already have a good foundation going, built from strong connections coming together as I find community in my church and my son's homeschool resource center. Over the course of the summer I will add upon that foundation as I work on my physical nest, making it my own and then shifting all of my belongings into it.

I suppose all of life is nest building really. Adding to one's life stick by stick, grass length by grass length, a collection of experiences to form one's own life nest.

*I don't know what type of bird made the nest I found, shown in the pictures above. I did find a good resource on how to identify bird's nests below. Need to find a good nest ID book though. Not great info from what I could tell on the internet.

Good info on how to research birds nests by Backyard Nature.

Opening to my Life

2011-05-05T07:20:00.004-04:00

I sat this morning with my coffee cup in hand, staring out toward the pond and woods behind my home. Listening to the bird calls and watching the wind sway the very tips of the trees. I felt the natural scene beyond my window pulling at me, causing me to stop and contemplate what I was beholding. I tried to focus the thoughts, make sense of them so that I could read their message. No luck. Still my thoughts swirled and still the jumbled haze of all that greenery outside my window pulled at me. Finally in frustration, I got up to retrieve a notebook in order to write the fragments of what was entering my mind, and as I did so, the pages of the notebook fell away to reveal the words "Opening to Our Lives". These words were the title of a podcast I had previously listened to and taken notes on by Jon Kabat-Zinn when he spoke on the Science of Mindfulness.

Here are a few of the notes from the podcast I had written in my notebook:

-Mindfulness- a way of being awake, not about thoughts or sitting in your head.

-The ability to think gets all of the focus in the world. We have never been trained to pay attention, be aware.

-When one begins to become intimate with attention and awareness, it balances out thinking and then imagination and creativity comes out of the stillness.

-Mindfulness equals heartfulness.

-Wakefulness means resting in a kind of awareness that is so stable it is not thrown off by the coming and going of events. No matter if things are going your way or not.

-Be aware by dropping into your body. Thoughts carry us away from the heart of the matter.

-Choose life, awareness, rather than rushing.

-Find out who we are and live authentically in service of the world.

Suddenly, as I read the notes above, I discovered the message the universe was trying to deliver to me. To stop. Slow down. Pay attention and be aware. I have been rushing about too much lately as one obligation in my life has led to another, forgetting to take the time to be mindful. Thankfully, the call to me from the trees was very loud and thankfully I had enough time in my schedule this morning to figure out what was being delivered to me. A reminder to be open to my life by being aware which will in turn allow me to live authentically and in service to the world. A lofty goal I know.

Nature's Pull...

2011-04-27T12:27:00.004-04:00

This past winter, I went out into the snow. Leaving the warmth of my family and home behind. To lay at the feet of the towering pines. The cold embracing me, the stillness quieting me. Later I found myself, arms wrapped about the tree, head pressed against its bark. Listening for the tree's heartbeat, having been told they have them. I heard instead only the beating of my heart reminding me of my life. The life of my family calling to me from the open door of the house, beckoning me back inside to join the fray.

Out of the Fog

2011-04-20T08:56:00.006-04:00

"I write and write and write and find joy in it. A connection to myself. To others. A place of strength not known. Where I let fear go and press forward. Embracing those things important to me while looking for and supporting those things important to the rest of those I care about. This is where I am- giving to others and giving to myself. Slowly, hesitantly, walking down my path but seeing the light shine brighter as I go. Being only what I can be- doing what I need. I find the connection with others and love for others and they me coaxing me forward- embracing me on my journey toward home. The sun is rising as I set out. Come with me and enjoy what is in store."

I wrote the above last night during a workshop on Jungian archetypes. Amazed at how apt it was for where I currently am in my life. Perched between being a full-time mother and the haze that can sometimes accompany that place and the clarity that comes from finding one's life work.

Unfolding, Opening Yourself to the Journey

2011-04-18T06:42:00.006-04:00

The two pictures in my blog post today were taken about a week apart. A week during which time I spun my wheels and rushed about, trying to force things in my life that couldn't and shouldn't be forced, ending up dissatisfied at the lack of results. Meanwhile, if you look closely at the buds on the branches in the two pictures in this post, you will see that nature has been quite productive during this past week. Slowly letting things unfold and open up, a dance of life playing out just outside my back door.
This dancing of nature acts as a heartbeat of sorts, keeping time for us and operating according to a rhythm that our bodies naturally pick up as winter moves to spring. As the the browns and grays of winter fade, and the green of spring unfolds we find ourselves shedding our warm winter coats and opting for lighter weight clothing without giving it much thought. Physically, we appear to be in tune with nature, our bodies walking in step with it.

Our minds are a different story. We (or at least I) try and obtain things for myself before the world is ready to relinquish them to me. I may think I am ready for a new phase in my life but roadblocks stand in my way. There are lessons I must learn first and I must journey and solve the many puzzles of my life, some frustrating and others rewarding. This preparation is an unfolding of the bud of my soul. An opening up, of allowing things in my life to happen as they should.

I need to pay better attention to the needs of my soul and less to the cry of my mind. Let the ancient wisdom of my inner world guide me through meditation and dream work . Let the spring buds on the trees outside my window serve as a visual reminder to slow down and be present and that life will unfold for me, allowing me to find my place in the world.

A Week of Natural Learning.

2011-04-08T09:29:00.005-04:00

What does Natural Learning look like? How is it different for young people than a week spent at school? The biggest difference is that there are no divisions between time spent learning and time spent having fun, no jumping for joy at the end of the school day on a Friday with dreams of uninterrupted fun all weekend. No dread on Sunday night as homework for the week ahead is rushed through and completed. Instead, life unfolds and learning unfolds. I am sure you have heard of the quote "live, laugh, love". All things we willingly pursue in life which enhance our being in this world. Well, as a Natural Learner, you would insert the word "learn" into that quote as well, and go after learning with the same enthusiasm as loving or living. It would simply be a part of you, an extension of yourself. Not something a teacher would give to you, but something you would give to yourself. "Live, laugh, love, learn".

In my post yesterday, I talked of how my son pursued his recent interest in physics by talking to a retired physics professor who told him about an online video class in physics at MIT. I then went on to talk of how my son is learning by leaps and bounds in his pursuit of knowledge in a Natural Learning environment. Maybe talking like that left you with the impression that my son is socially isolated from his peers and that he spends his days alone. That isn't the case at all so let me write a bit about how my son spends his week so that you can come to see how Natural Learning works and if it is something you would like to offer a young person in your life.

My son starts every Tuesday through Thursday morning rising at 7am then coming downstairs to spend time having a breakfast of pancakes or eggs, playing with the dog, watching the Today show, showering and talking to me until 9am during which time we leave the house for his educational center. Ryan then spends the next 5-7 hours being exposed to a myriad of activities in a free and experiential way with a close knit group of 2o of his peers. Just this week alone, this group of young people began preparations for a garden, did fund raising and planning for an end of the year trip they will be taking, gave presentations to one another on research projects of their choosing, and other such activities. Tuesdays are filled with math and science topics, Thursdays with language arts related activities and Wednesdays are free choice days where the young people choose between three offerings every 6 weeks.

Friday through Monday Ryan finds himself still up early each morning and is free to use his time to further explore things he has been exposed to while at his educational center or to pursue interests he discovers on his own. Ryan likes to use this time to read books of his choosing, do research on the internet, tackle algebra, do video game design, go rock climbing, take hikes, play with the dog, help out at his educational center as they prepare for a weekend event or talk to me etc...He is also just as likely to plan time with friends to go into the city by train, attend a local event, hang out at someone's house, or have them over here. Time spent at church with his peers and also community events at his educational center rounds out his week.

Because Ryan is learning in a natural way, he finds the pursuit of knowledge fun and thus is constantly going after what interests him. There never is a line between work and play, it all just blends. There never is any downtime either and I find Ryan constantly wanting for more. Asking me if we can do math one day or help him with a research paper the next. He is hungry for it all and seems to have a thirst that I can't seem to quench no matter how many resources I throw at him. It is exciting to see and I constantly wonder where all of this will someday take him. A far cry from a year ago when he was ensconced in a public school classroom hating how learning was being forced upon him. The freedom to choose is allowing for him to burst forth rather than be held back in his learning. Making the quote "live, laugh, love, learn" his own.

Total Freedom in Learning= Exponential Growth in Knowledge

2011-04-07T23:44:00.012-04:00

I attended a talk by Daniel Pink, the author of "A Whole New Mind" this evening at a school near my home. The biggest take away from his talk for me was when he mentioned how artists that are allowed to create paintings without any constructs turn out a higher quality of work than those creating art for a specific purpose or for someone else. Daniel's example made me think of our schools and that if we could apply the same principle shown above regarding artists to our students, by essentially allowing for more freedom in our schools, then maybe we would turn out better students. Students filled with passion and creativity and ready to move toward solving some of the problems facing the world.

Daniel talked tonight about how the policy makers in education need to get out of the way and allow teachers to run the schools, but I don't think that is the answer either. I believe teachers would feel the need to teach, to fill students with curriculums of their choosing when actually the reverse is needed. Students should be given the opportunity to fill themselves with knowledge based on their own self directed interests. I would like to see a complete switch take place in education where teachers provide the answers if and when students come looking for them. It would be a teacher's job then to create the desire and passion to learn and subsequently guide their student's interests.

An example of this sort of educational model can be found in the homeschooling arena where many children and teens are given freedom to pursue their interests, some with a higher degree of freedom than others. It has been my experience as a homeschooler, that the more freedom I offer my son Ryan, the more passionate and creative he becomes. In fact, now at age 14, after learning in a free environment for almost 5 years, I am finding the number of interests my son is pursuing with enthusiasm to be exploding. It seems almost daily, Ryan comes to me with a new idea of something we wants to learn or study further.

Just last week he told me he wants to learn more about astronomy, physics, JFK, and the Cold War, many of these interests sparked by exposure to these topics at the alternative educational center he attends. I told Ryan that he would have to go it alone in the physics field because I had flunked physics in high school. I explained I would be more than happy to provide resources in which to pursue physics but I wouldn't be able to "teach" it to him. I also went on to say that many colleges expect their students to know how to pursue knowledge and that many recent high school graduates come out of school lacking in that skill, having been told for years what to learn and how to learn it.

Imagine my surprise then when we were at the climbing gym on Sunday and met a retired University of Pennsylvania physics professor who told Ryan about how he could take a Intro to Physics class online with MIT through a program called Open Course Ware. He wouldn't get credit for the course, but would get fantastic exposure. Ryan, without my knowledge, went onto the site one morning when I was out and watched the first video of the class, taking notes and excitedly telling me what he had learned when I returned home.

This same sort of example happens over and over at my house and the incidence of this happening is growing exponentially, so much in fact, that much of Ryan's time is spent in the pursuit of knowledge, with little regard to time of day or day of the week. I am just as apt to find Ryan researching something on a Sunday as on a so called "school day". Because Ryan's learning is self-motivated or directed, it is a better quality of learning. Learning he is passionate about and will remember far longer than the typical student who forgets what his teacher taught him after being tested on the material.

So my idea of educational reform would be to throw out most of what we currently do in schools and start anew. Offer freedom in learning to students and have multiple age classrooms so young people can learn from one another. Have teachers become facilitators and guides who stoke the passions of students by introducing a variety of topics to young people in an experiential hands on way. But most of all, give students the time to discover what most interests them and allow them to pursue it. Like the artists stroking a paintbrush against the canvas, creating what they see in their minds eye.

Below is a link to an excellent article written by Daniel Pink regarding his thoughts on education in this country which I discovered after I wrote my above post. We have very similar thoughts on how education needs to change in this country but he goes into more depth and supports his statements with many examples.

Schools Out, Get Ready for the New Age of Individualized Education by Daniel Pink.

Nature Fools on April Fool's...

2011-04-01T08:49:00.004-04:00

Heavy, big snowflakes are drifting down from the sky outside my window. Cloaking the ground all around on this, the first day of April. Typically a day to fool an unsuspecting person, but on this day, there is no joke, winter has returned!

Why is it that the first snowfall of the season brings on joy and the last snowfall is something to be endured? The first snowfall is a sign of many dark days and cold weather ahead and really should be more feared than the last snowfall of the year. One which can be enjoyed for its sheer beauty with the promise of warmer days just around the corner.

With these thoughts in mind, I am going to embrace the flakes of winter, get out the sled one last time, and fly down the hill behind my house.

Finding Community

2011-03-29T06:19:00.007-04:00

Water is a strong unifying force in a woodland, something that ties the community of life together. Everything that resides in this wild space needs water to survive. The animals that make their homes there, the towering trees, or the herbaceous plants which will soon spring from the ground. This ribbon of life then creates the fabric for which all in the forest partake.

In much the same way water weaves a life sustaining fabric in a woodlot, we humans, through our relationships with one another, weave a cloth that sustains and nourishes us and makes us feel not only part of the system, but also loved. This woven sense of belonging in our communities becomes essentially the common thread we all need to survive and thrive.

Just as animals in the forest search out water for which to drink, we humans search out communities in order to nourish our souls. Church groups, clubs formed around common interests, support groups, internet social media- they all play a part in helping to connect us to one another. Some of these groups provide all of the sustenance we need, others less so.

Over the years I have participated in many communities, yet have only found a few that really make me feel that all important sense of belonging. A connectedness that almost makes one feel they want to cry when surrounded by it. To see the beauty of many people coming together, caring for one another, drawing close, tightening the weave.

Having recently found a community that brings me great joy, I have wondered what sets this community apart? What ingredients does it have that others have not had? In my search for an answer, I stumbled across this quote by Wendell Berry which I think answers my question quite well:

"A community is the mental and spiritual condition of knowing that the place is shared, and that the people who share the place define and limit the possibilities of each other's lives. It is the knowledge that people have of each other, their concern for each other, their trust in each other, the freedom with which they come and go among themselves."

~Wendell Berry

As I sat in the barn last Saturday night at the educational center where my son spends his week, I felt a deep sense of community and belonging. Though just a newcomer there myself, most in the room had been together since their children were born. With the music playing and many dancing, others gathered at tables playing games or talking, shared food from the potluck filling us, I felt I had found home. Both lucky and grateful to have found this special place. Bounded by a desire to educate young people in freedom and a desire to trust and care for one another along the way, I saw this place for what it was- a deeply committed community. A place where the fabric of the community would be best described as loosely woven. Strong and supportive as needed, yet flexible enough to allow for each to be their own individual.

This fabric, cast from many threads, creates one beautiful garment which sustains all in much the same way a forest is sustained by the water that runs through it. We as a community through this coming together, find ourselves drinking from the same stream so to speak, day after day as well.

Look to Collaboration

2011-03-27T22:55:00.010-04:00

All of nature is a giant integrated community that is based on a cooperation between species, an interdependent web of existence that allows for the natural world as a whole to march forward into the future. Just as a group of trees provide support to the community of which they are a part- by providing air to breathe, homes for animals, or sustenance to the soil from the leaves it sheds- we humans could use the example nature sets forth through the use of collaboration to solve many of the problems that plague us.

Under our current model of relating to one another, which is based on competition, we end up with a fractured network- rich and poor, well-fed and hungry, healthy and diseased - a community out of sync with the ways of nature and essentially doomed to continue on in the natural world. I will admit, there is competition in nature, but the broad based way nature operates is for the good of the whole system through collaboration. We humans on the other hand, are currently operating in a way that provides well for a few and neglects the rest, not giving much thought to how we are plundering the earth.

One way out of this mess is to start young and change our ways by switching to a new way of educating our children by using a collaborative method of teaching rather than a competitive one. To operate this way, education would get rid of the grading system and allow young people to explore learning based on their interests not those deemed important by the school system. Young people pursuing what truly interests them would make for more passionate and creative learners, paving the way for new ways of solving the world's problems. Young people would in turn learn how to support one another and each other's ideas, coming together to determine solutions for the problems they encounter, finding the power in using many minds over just one.

Already, this collaborative method of teaching our children has started in a few alternative educational settings, slowly beginning to turn the tide. It can be found mainly in educational centers with a strong sense of support toward the goals of collaboration, both in how they teach their young people and how they relate to one another in the community as a whole.

Another likely place to look for the seeds of collaboration would be in the homeschooling arena but they too find themselves plagued with many competitive factors as they fight with one another over methodology and who participates in the best form of homeschooling. There are the Christian vs. non-Christian camps and the "school-at-home" vs. unschooling camps, all acting much like their traditional school counterparts, steeped in fierce competition between one another. There is potential in individual homeschooling support groups to move toward collaboration if a group were to commit to it and formed a mission statement to that effect.

Unfortunately, starting young and changing the way we teach our young people will be hard. So many buy into our current way of education because they themselves have sat in a school desk and been taught to listen to authority and not question how we currently do things. But there are cracks in the veneer as our children slowly rebel and require a different way of learning. Listen to your children. Hear them say they hate school and don't want to go. They are saying that for a reason. It is miserable to be forced to learn things which you have no interest in and be taught things you won't remember. Set them free and you will be rewarded with a completely different child. One who smiles and loves life and laughs. One who may change the world for the better.

This natural form of learning, based in freedom and collaboration, is the answer I feel to moving away from what keeps us humans stymied in the current mire of world destruction we find ourselves in. We are no longer of nature, having stepped out of that giant integrated community long ago. We need to find our way back to the web of existence of which we are all a part and find our rightful place in the natural order of things.

Rainy Day Ramble

2011-03-21T15:02:00.007-04:00

With my older son Jimmy home from Indianapolis for a visit, we didn't let today's rain force us to squander an opportunity to get outside and hike, as we donned our rain gear and set out. Due to the weather, the trails at our local arboretum were empty, giving us an opportunity to enjoy the quiet of the woods alone.
For a good part of our journey, the trail followed a creek which soon became more rocky as the topography changed and the creek found itself tumbling over rocks and boulders, forming small waterfalls as it cascaded downward.
Coaxed onto the rocks, my sons slowly made their way along the creek bed, hopping from one rock to another until they found themselves downstream and atop a log which crossed over the creek.
Rocks along creek beds have always been an attraction for my boys from the time they were little. The challenge to hop from one rock to another without getting wet called them into waterways when they were 3 and still now at 23, in the case of my older son. Some things never change.I myself, moved onto the rocks and loved the feeling of having the water rush around me as I stood safely atop a large rock. I was awed at the beauty of the water, the woods. The time spent with my two boys in such a magical place.

Nature's Plan

2011-03-19T14:22:00.011-04:00

The woodland path beckons to me,

calling me forward

to partake in the yet unexplored.

There will be rocks to scale

and deep ravines to traverse.

Hilltops with beautiful views,

and muck filled bogs to slow me.

Sun in my eyes, rain upon my feet.

As I travel along,

I want to rearrange the wilds.

Make the trees stand straighter,

and not have my way cluttered

with last years fallen leaves.

Don't bite me bugs,

or make me itch poison ivy.

Hawk, serve as my compass.

After awhile I develop a truce with the woods,

and find my place in its midst.

I hear the chickadee's calls.

See the red fox walk quietly by.

Feel the wind rustle the leaves of the beech,

taste the rain as it falls.

Slowly, I learn to bend to where the path is taking me,

embracing the journey and its gifts.

~Darcy

It's almost Spring and the Trash is Blooming...

2011-03-17T15:53:00.006-04:00

The last of the snowbanks have melted alongside the road in front of my house, paving the way for yellow daffodils to push their way upward and bloom. Unfortunately, the melting snow has also revealed all of the unsightly trash that has been tossed out car windows along the rural road I live on all winter long.

This morning I picked up two full black trash bags of trash on both sides of the road in front of my house and extending down the hill to my neighbor's. What I found didn't surprise me...pop cans and bottles, take out food containers, beer cans and empty jugs of whiskey and gin. The cardboard that at one time housed various products, cigarette cartoons, and plastic cups.

I did find one surprise- a pair of underwear and down the road a bit, a torn open prophylactic package- more than likely tossed from the same car. I figured the car was probably traveling south, given the location of the underwear, which would have come off before the prophylactic went on.

After I weeded the roadsides of man's contribution, I could once again enjoy the beauty of the drive through the woodlands near my home. No longer distracted by the refuse of those who think nature is something to be trashed.

Awakened by Thunder

2011-02-28T07:50:00.007-05:00

Last night a thunderstorm rolled through while I slept, helping to turn the season from winter to spring. This morning, fog greeted me as stepped outside with my pup, and I realized the last vestiges of winter will soon be gone, paving the way for the birth of spring.

Like the animals in the brush making their preparations, I too need to start moving toward a place of new beginnings. Investigating the opportunities for spiritual growth which lie inside me and which I can awaken through my dreams, journaling, and storytelling. Like the wild animals around me, I have a lot to do to get ready for the change that is coming. For a re-birth of sorts for myself.

Separating Ourselves from Nature

2011-02-27T08:23:00.008-05:00

At the back of the yard where I live, there is a split rail fence that divides wild unfettered nature from the much more groomed human-pleasing world. Woodlot, vines and wildlife on one side, lawn and house with people on the other. On this late winter morning, a harmonic collection of bird songs just over the fence, silence on the other.
The wild joyful party happening just over the fence coaxes me to come join the fray. To let go of what holds me in place, controls me, and allows me to live in a silent world devoid of animal wisdom to guide me. There is much to be learned from nature on how I should be living my life. I just need to learn its language.

Shadow World

2011-02-23T15:17:00.006-05:00

What part of yourself lurks in the shadows?

Residing away from the light, cloaked in blackness.

Maybe you don't even know,

What's hidden in your depths.

Sunset to sunrise, or under the frozen lake of winter.

Only the light of day or warmth of spring,

allowing us to see what was once hidden,

will reveal the mystery of the dark.

Like the life that swarms under a log

on a warm summer day,

there is a world under your surface too.

Discovered through your dreams, and silence.

Go outside alone, sit quietly and notice.

What gets hidden in the cast of a shadow.

Your shadow, behind the trees or the rocks.

The last places snow melts on a warm winter day.

Our inner world, what lies within us, may be the key,

to melting away what's missing from our lives.

Shine some light there and discover

your life source, your soul.

~Darcy

Sleighton Farm School for Girls

2011-02-15T09:52:00.015-05:00

My son suggested I not visit and take pictures of the long abandoned Sleighton Farm School for Girls. He told me it was haunted and that I would bring the ghosts back to our house after visiting there. I admit, the place did have an eerie feel about it each time we drove by and that feeling was no different today as I pulled into the drive to snap some shots.

Driven by a desire to understand what Sleighton School had been when operational, I did a quick search online last night. I thought it had been some sort of private school that had run out of funding but the sad vibe of the place that pulled at my gut each time I went by told me something else. Sure enough, it had been a sad place. A reform school for delinquent girls, sent there by the courts of Pennsylvania in an attempt to rehabilitate them. Under the guise of trying build character, develop an intellectual life and train one to earn a livelihood, the girls spent long exhausting hours working each day in the classroom and gardens.

Here is a quote about the property taken from the company currently managing the property:

"The historic campus of the former Sleighton School for girls contains historic buildings, including 19^th and early 20^th century school buildings, an imposing chapel, cottages, a stone barn, and 19^th century farm structures as well as 350 acres of open space. Some of these historic buildings were designed by Cope and Stewardson who also designed educational buildings at Princeton, Bryn Mawr, and the University of Pennsylvania. The campus has been determined eligible for the National Register of Historic Places.

The Sleighton School's predecessor, the House of Refuge, was founded by Quakers in 1826. The school closed in 2001 due to financial difficulties. The property is now managed by the Wolfington Companies."

Typical of the many structures found in this area, the school buildings are almost all built of stone and are quite a sight to behold when driving past. They hold your gaze because you can see the work that went into them and it is hard to see them falling into disrepair. The school has been identified as being eligible for the National Registry of Historic Places. Other preservation organizations would like the buildings saved as well. The site reminds me of what Ellis Island once looked like before it was deemed a valuable resource and saved.

Hopefully these buildings will be saved and a bit of their history recorded. It would be interesting to hear the stories of those that attended this school and to know that they went on to better things in their lives. That the reform did help them. That would go a long way toward making me see the possible good in the mission of this school rather than just another place where we housed children in order to tell them how to think and be.

Until I hear those stories, I will simply have to view them as I view the other educational institutional buildings we have for young people in this country. Facilities where students are made to attend by law and given lessons on topics which may or may not help them lead a productive life. Thankfully, homeschooling laws allow some of the lucky ones to escape.

Links of Additional Resources:

Great interior shots of buildings at Sleighton Farm:

A Sleighton Farm summer counselor recalls her time there:

Info from company currently managing Sleighton Farm :

Newsletter from Preservation Alliance identifying Sleighton Farm's buildings as endangered:

Study of Delinquent Girls at Sleighton Farm:

Information on the history and handling of Juvenile Delinquency:

The turning...

2011-02-14T14:16:00.006-05:00

Sunny today. Warm temperatures for the week ahead. Should see the ground slowly turn to brown letting go of the white I have grown accustomed to. Later, the brown will fade to green and spring will pop. I can smell the transition coming, hear it in the air with fresh new bird song. See it with the longer daylight, feel it in my bones.

Just like a wild animal, taking cues from my environment...

How to Make Learning Relevant for Young People

2011-02-12T21:05:00.006-05:00

DEFINITION OF RELEVANT:

rel-e-vant

1a: having significant and demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand.

My son Ryan asked me if I could make math more fun for him the other day. Our days plodding through his algebra text had grown tedious when compared to what and how he was learning at his homeschool resource center with its creative way of reaching young people. At the time, I told Ryan how important it would be for him to know math in the future and that he just had to buckle down and learn it, fun or not.

Later that day, after our frustrating math session came to an end, I came across an article online featuring Will Wright- the mind behind the games Sims and Spore, discussing how video games and their problem solving requirements, may help in learning. Wright explained that because video gamers must solve problems in order to move on to the next level, the work they engage in to solve problems becomes relevant to them. This relevancy encourages the gamer to pursue the knowledge needed to move forward.

As I was reading the article, I realized where I had been missing the boat with Ryan and his math. Just telling him he was going to need what I was teaching him some day down the road didn't create the desire he needed to really learn the material now. There was no relevancy. No significant or demonstrable bearing on the matter at hand. Much like the disconnected learning young people are subjected to in public schools.

A search online turned up many articles on how to create relevancy in learning for school teachers. It involves creating lesson plans that attempt to create links between the student and what he is learning. I found these plans to be contrived and offering no real connection to the student because they are teacher directed rather than being led by the student's interests themselves. If students don't care about what they are learning, they will lack the ability and motivation to learn it in a real way.

When students are allowed to pursue what interests them, their passion for the topic will carry them forward and create the relevancy needed for real learning to take place. Real learning, relevant learning, requires passion and the solving of problems that are found in the pursuit of that passion. Because passion is individual, every student needs to have the freedom to pursue what interests them.

On that note, I've discovered that I can't make math fun for Ryan. Making it fun won't create the relevancy he needs to really learn it. He needs the passion. Just as I did when I found myself needing to pass math in order to be accepted into the business school in college. If I passed, I was accepted, if I didn't I wasn't. My passion to get into business school made me learn math. Math skills that I would some day like to pass onto my son once he becomes passionate about learning them himself.

Surface of the Moon...Wintertime Blues...

2011-02-10T09:41:00.009-05:00

My mind seems caught in the grip of winter, slowed down and fragmented by the brittle icy weather we have been enduring. Easily distracted, I seem to have lost my focus.

Typically, I would head outdoors when feeling this way and upon return would find my head clear and myself re-energized, centered and able to tackle tasks at hand and carve out some time for myself.

This winter feels different. Not that the demands of my life are any different, just that this winter itself is different. As a life long lover of winter, I have always embraced the cold, the wind, the snow. I loved nothing more than to head out into a storm, hiking through deep snow or to ski along a trail noticing how snow cover would bring a welcome silence to an area.

But this year winter has brought us ice. Ice on the power lines, coating the limbs of trees and bringing them down into the yard. Ice on the roads, driveways and walks. Ice hanging off the house and coating the snow.

It is the ice that has formed on the snow that I find most troubling. It is impossible to ski in it. Impossible to walk on it...your feet breaking through a top layer of frozen crust to the soft, deep snow below or snow becoming an icy mass as it melts on the warmer days and freezes again at night. My backyard currently reminds me of the surface of the moon and at night when I stumble across the cold and barren yard, navigating with my pup on the deeply pitted uneven surface, I feel like I have traveled to the moon. In fact, I may as well be on the moon right now, given how sequestered I am from the winter world I typically enjoy.

Because stepping outside in such slippery conditions is both dangerous and frustrating this year, spending time outdoors is not the salve that typically solves much for me. As a result, I have made a pact with myself to encourage me to find time each day to tend to elements of mind, body and spirit. A more forced approach than what would come naturally with being outdoors, but one that works all the same. Already I am finding myself in a better place. Winter's icy grip is lessening even though it is still very much here.

On the Woodpile...

2011-02-02T14:59:00.010-05:00

Fire and Ice

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

~Robert Frost

Dog Days of Winter...

2011-01-28T18:37:00.003-05:00

Natural Frame of Mind

2011-01-27T16:59:00.011-05:00

Without giving it much thought, as yesterday's snowstorm came to a lull just before midday, my son Ryan and I pulled on our boots and jackets and set off in a northeasterly direction across a tract of woods towards my son's homeschool resource center where classes were being held despite the storm. Ryan's desire to finish a chessboard he was working on in wood shop, my lack of desire to drive over hazardous roads to get there, and both of our excitement to spend some time in nature prompted us to make the decision to walk to school instead.

Before leaving, we checked google maps, committing to memory our planned route through mostly wooded areas with a few homes and farms on acreage. Taking into account our estimated 1.5 to 2 miles to cover and allowing for mistakes along the way, I figured the journey would take about an hour, just enough time to get to Ryan's wood shop program on time. After heading out, it didn't take long for us to be in the thick of the forest, climbing over logs and ducking under brambles, heading up hills and over creeks. Forging your own trail in the woods takes time and travel is slow.

Normally traveling slowly, spending vast amounts of time rambling through the woods in a beautiful setting would be welcomed by me. I would embrace it and revel in just being. Being in nature, with nature.

But yesterday, I found my thoughts filled with bothersome questions. Why did I think this walk was a good idea, a good adventure? As I found myself beginning to feel tired walking through the deep snow, I wondered how far we had to go yet and asked myself if it would feel worse to turn around and go back home or were we almost to the school? I continually asked Ryan to stop frequently to check his compass to make sure we were not going the least bit off track. I just wanted to get to our destination by noon when Ryan's wood shop program was set to begin. I let the pressure of time and the discomfort of wondering if we were taking the best route, get in the way of properly enjoying my time in the woods with my son.

As I think back on it now, I see that just being in a natural setting doesn't guarantee a more mindful "living in the moment" experience. It doesn't suddenly make you forget the pressures of your life and open up to the beauty around you. You need to be in the right place in your mind as well. Bringing all of life's irritations and frustrations into the woods with you will simply make you continue to be frustrated and irritated. Going into the woods and surrounding yourself with nature may make you take pause and lessen some of the pressures you have, but it will not erase them. Just like meditation requires you to still your mind in order to get the most out of it, so does being in nature. Still your thoughts, open to the beauty around you. Listen, go slow. Look, breathe, appreciate.

Snow Day Today? Nope! Seriously???

2011-01-26T08:18:00.008-05:00

The weather folks got it wrong this morning...telling us we would get a few flakes of snow that would turn into rain by 8am. The morning commute was not expected to be bad and consequently very few schools in our area closed their doors, sending buses and cars onto slippery roads as the accumulating snowfall went against the weatherman's predictions.

A few smart schools, realizing the roads were rapidly deteriorating, did make the decision to close their doors just in the nick of time, but my son's school was not one of them. Wanting to check out the road conditions myself, I strode out to the road in front of my house and took the picture above. What the picture does not show well, is the tree-lined steep hill that drops away from my house, covered in snow and very slippery. The road in front of my house is like many in this area...curvy and hilly, interesting to navigate on even the best of days.When I lived in the Chicago area, it wasn't a big deal to head out onto snow covered roads because every road was straight and flat. If you went off the road, about the only thing you'd run into was a 7-Eleven parking lot or up onto a sidewalk in a neighborhood. It felt safe to get out onto the roads in even the worst of conditions.

As I listen to the local road and weather reports, tales of huge traffic jams fill the newscast. Pictures of cars sitting on snow covered roads abound. With the snow still steadily falling outside my window and a major snowstorm predicted for tonight, I think I will keep my son home from school today. Make a nice breakfast and put on a kettle of tea. Enjoy your day!

*Update*

Just after I published this, my son's school put a message on their website stating that staff was having difficulties getting to school and that the road in front of the school was VERY bad. I am sure they wish they had made to decision to close. Hope everyone gets there safely.

Weather Not Fit for Man nor Beast

2011-01-18T08:41:00.006-05:00

Morning dawned with a steady delivery of freezing rain, splashing against my kitchen window and casting a gray hue to all my eye could see. Wishing to postpone my time outdoors facing the elements with my Labrador pup, I downed a second cup of coffee, fortifying myself in anticipation of the cold and wet to come.
Nasty, is the word that best describes what I felt as I stepped outside. A cold rain fell upon my shoulders as I quickly adjusted my umbrella with one hand as my dog Dakota strained upon her leash with the other. Slipping and sliding my way to the side yard, I opened the frozen gate and let my pup free. Some branches of a white pine had come down under the weight of the ice and Dakota was curious as to why there were many more sticks than normal for her to chew on.

Walking for both pup and I was made more difficult given the crust of ice upon a layer of snow. Once your foot (or paw) broke through the ice, it tended to cause you to slip as your other foot broke through the ice and repeated the process. Dakota, who loves dashing through the snow, wasn't quite sure what to make of this new way of walking, especially because of the way the ice impeded her progress. She finally worked out a sort of hop, skip system which tended to make her look more like a rabbit than a dog, but moved her about efficiently.
After a brief stay outside, both dog and I decided we had had enough and headed for the gate, ready to embrace the warm and dry interior of the house. Sometimes weather is too bad even for a normally foul weather loving Lab.

Naturalist Training Words...

2011-01-16T15:13:00.005-05:00

I started my naturalist training program today and for our first exercise we were asked to find an interesting piece of paper, maybe a card or an old map to use as a bookmark. We were then asked to write some thoughts on the bookmark to inspire ourselves as we began our journey of discovering the natural world. It only took me a minute of searching before I came upon a greeting card with the following words:

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you."

~ Christian D. Larson

Amazing I thought! Exactly the words I need to encourage me as I make my way along this path. Funny how the things I need in life somehow always find their way to me.

Winter Pond Walk

2011-01-13T17:30:00.006-05:00

I love how the snow sticks to the branches of trees after a snowstorm, outlining everything in white, giving color and contrast to the browns of winter.
Early yesterday morning, before the wind had a chance to come up and dust off the snow accumulated from our Tuesday night snowstorm, I walked down to the pond and then around it to take some pictures.
The sun had just come up and obviously from the sight of fresh tracks, I wasn't the only one out enjoying the morning.
Something about bright blue sky in the background of newly snow-coated trees...absolutely beautiful! Everything looks so fresh and clean...
Soon after arriving back in the house, the sky began to cloud up and the wind picked up too, blowing the snow off the trees, erasing much of the beauty caught by my camera.

Remember Tree Forts?

2011-01-12T16:58:00.006-05:00

My son Ryan and I spent a few hours snowshoeing at the local arboretum today and enjoyed checking out both the natural and man made tree forts.

Ryan was our leader and guide as we broke trail through the new snow that had fallen overnight. He had a penchant for going off trail and checking out the hiding places formed by the low hanging branches of evergreens arching down and touching the ground, making a perfectly sheltered place up close next to the trunk of the tree. A fort of sorts, made naturally by the tree as shown in the picture above.

Dipping in and out of these evergreen forts, we soon came across a different type of natural tree fort, also known as the perfect climbing tree. As we stood under the tree, looking up into its branches placed at just the right intervals for scaling, we envisioned ourselves traveling skyward. If it were not for the snow covered branches, making passage somewhat dangerous, I think we both would have had our snowshoes off in a second and climbing upward - Ryan for the sense of accomplishment I suppose and me to throw off my adultness and act like a kid again. We both vowed to come back when the weather was nicer to fully embrace the opportunity.
Seems the folks that run our arboretum understand the attraction kids have for tree forts because they have created some man made ones through out the park as well. While the forts are closed at this time of year, I am sure they are quite popular when the weather is nicer. I photographed just two of the many forts scattered throughout the park.
My legs are tired and cheeks rosy from my time spent outdoors. It will be nice to heat up some soup and let the evening unfold, a satisfying end to a nice day spent with my son.

Teen Birthday Party Ideas

2011-01-11T10:25:00.008-05:00

Items needed: Snow, cold, 35 acres of fields and woods, firewood for a bonfire, and sleds.

My son Ryan spent 6 hours outside this past Sunday night with 20 other teens as they celebrated the birthday of one of their friends. Ryan was told not to bring a present to the party, but to dress warmly instead.

Having never heard of a teen party taking place outdoors, much less on a freezing cold night in January, I didn't know what to expect as I drove Ryan up the long driveway to the farm where the party was taking place. Arriving at the farm, we were met by many other teens dressed warmly and heading out to the barn. Ryan hopped out to join them and as I made my way back down the drive toward home, I wondered if Ryan would end up with frostbite or something after spending so much time outdoors.

At 10pm, I picked Ryan up from the party and soon heard his tales of time spent hiking through the woods in the dark, leaping over streams, star gazing (and even discovering his own constellation), discussions he had which centered around the incredible nature of the universe, and attempts to fill an entire field with snow angels. Wow, I thought! How exciting for Ryan to spend time with his peers, kids aged 14-18, and spend all of it outdoors, reveling in all that nature has to offer.

It made me wonder about birthday parties in general and why we feel we need to entertain kids at Chuck E. Cheese or create special themed parties for them at all. Why not just send them outdoors and let them figure it out. Nature, as Ryan and his friends discovered, is both amazing and entertaining.

Life Without School

2011-01-07T20:19:00.011-05:00

A snowfall that fell just as morning broke forced school opening delays of two hours in our area this morning. As homeschoolers, none of that mattered to us. We still started our day in much the same way we always do, outdoors in our fenced side yard, running wildly with our dog. I can remember praying for a snow day when my son attended public school, hoping the roads would be too bad for travel so that the day could be filled with snow ball fights, snow fort building, and hot chocolate.
Invariably in those days, the school superintendent would deem the roads safe for travel and my son would end up spending his day on a seat behind a desk rather than on the seat of a sled- a perfect day in the snow wasted. Luckily, as homeschoolers, we get to decide our snow days and today would have been just such a day if we hadn't had prior arrangements to spend the day socializing with other homeschoolers at a local boys and girls club.
So, after spending some time with our pup outside this morning, we packed up our lunch and headed out, admiring the beauty of the snow sticking to each individual branch of the trees as we rode up and down narrow roadways past forested hillsides and open fields toward our destination.
With cooler temperatures in place, there will be plenty of time to enjoy the snow over the coming days ahead. Maybe we will make Monday our official snow day and spend the day on a sled, sailing down the hill behind our house, or take our dog on a hike around the pond. No matter what we decide, it feels good to know that we are in charge of how we ultimately spend our time. Snowfalls and childhood are finite. I think it is important to make the most of them!

My Favorite Nature Spirituality Books

2011-01-06T14:20:00.017-05:00

While winter is one of my favorite times to be out on the trail, I also find this quieter time of year to be a great time to sit with a book and read about the natural world. Listed below are a few of the books I am using right now to help me strengthen my connection with nature.

May you find a few of these worth your while. Click on each title you are interested in for more information. Enjoy!

"Kamana One: Exploring Natural Mystery" by Jon Young

"Coyote's Guide to Connecting with Nature" by Young, Haas, McGown

"Handbook of Nature Study" by Anna Comstock

"Nature-Speak" by Ted Andrews

"Becoming Animal" by David Abram

"Mother Earth Spirituality" by Ed McGaa

"Why I Wake Early" by Mary Oliver

"Gift From the Sea" by Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"The Earth Path" by Starhawk

"Little Stone" by Wanless

Be Yourself, Don't Go With the Flow...

2011-01-03T16:16:00.003-05:00

I don't want to tumble down the stream bed of life, rushing to the reward of being accepted into a big ocean just like everyone else. That option may be the easier, smoother path. One without bumps and bruises, but a long boring glide into a vast reservoir of many other identical drops of water that have chosen the same path.

If I were water, I'd want to be the snowball, formed by a child enjoying his first snowfall. Or the rain fueling crops in a field. The precipitation held high above the earth in a cloud or the water coming from a spring. Different, purposeful, non-conforming. Not going with the flow, but rather impacting the flow...

Life Happens Outdoors...Our Year in Pictures

2010-12-31T11:03:00.008-05:00

January - Mike and Layla, Long Island Sound
February - Ryan cross country skiing in Connecticut
March - Ryan and Jim, Central Park, New York City
April - Ryan, Washington D.C.
May - All of us, Indiana University graduation
June - Ryan with our new puppy Dakota
July - Mike and I celebrating our 25th anniversary, Bar Harbor Maine
August - visiting family in Michigan
September - visiting Jimmy in Indiana
October - Ryan and Dakota at home
November - Ryan and Jimmy at home

December - Ryan and Dakota at home